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Stay out of it

By Muddy - 28/12/2025 00:00

Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 345

I'll see you in court

By UGGHhhhhh - 13/01/2026 00:00

Today, my nail client came with yet another sob story about a bill being on autopay and they took it from her account before her appointment. I set boundaries and said I won’t proceed until I’m paid in full (She owes over $300). She responded by trashing my shop. $1000 in nail polish supplies down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 57

Insatiable

By Anonymous - 07/01/2026 20:00

Today, my husband is a normal man in his thirties with a receding hairline and a dad bod. So why am I insanely attracted to him and just want to always have sex with him or do things to him? I can't stop myself. I just turn on when I see him and start sucking his cock. He can't keep up and hates it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 164

Tight fit

By Paul - 21/12/2025 03:00

Today, I'm having a difficult time in the bedroom. I'm 59 and the 40 year-old hot blonde I'm seeing is so tight, she squeezes me out almost every time she "gets hers." It sucks having to practically start over countless times before I can finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 229

Fear factor

By James - 07/01/2026 22:00

Today, I put my son on a ladder and told him to help me get down the Christmas lights to force him to face his terrible fear of heights. He cried for a good ten minutes, then started to calm himself down, just in time for my wife to run out screaming, "GET HIM OFF THAT LADDER!" Now he's even more scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 565

Peace offering

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 03:00

Today, after a silly argument, I decided to walk up on my boyfriend naked, but instead of a cute reaction video, I got a video of him yelling at me to grow up, get my ass dressed, and to stop trying to manipulate him while he’s angry at me. The argument was over the Lego we’re building together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 414

Kick off

By Anonymous - 09/01/2026 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having spontaneous sex on the sofa when he suddenly pulled out and sat back down, boner waving like a flagpole, because half time was over on the football and he hadn’t thought the sex would take so long. Let's see if he ever gets sex again, tosser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 89

You have been chosen

By Anonymous - 13/01/2026 09:00

Today, I think I was just nominated as a crazy old cat lady. I was sitting in my garden when a stray methodically came back and forth, leaving her three kittens in one of my flowerbeds two feet from me, and now she hasn’t been back all day. I guess I own cats now. Three of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 68

FIRE!

By Kav - 13/01/2026 12:00

Today, the fire alarm went off at my apartment. I rushed out but forgot to grab a coat, so I hopped in my car and fired it up, figuring I'd wait it out. A fireman knocked on my window and loudly asked me to get out, then wrote me a citation for "improper fire alarm protocols." That's a thing? FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 83

Gimme the money, lady

By Yudith - 02/01/2026 20:00

Today, I have to send to court for non-payment of rent the lady whose lease was apparently written by a four-year-old, or so the last judge who dismissed the last non-payment case for the same lady said. Said lady owes more than three months of rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 280

Doomerism

By Karmen - 01/01/2026 03:00

Today, I learned that my country has canceled all our offshore wind farms, putting the fight against the climate crisis back probably fifty years. When I told my husband, he said, "Good, we don't want to be the beached whale capital of the world". THE CLIMATE CRISIS, PEOPLE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 385

High potential

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 12:00

Today, my youngest was recognized as a genius. My older two are now upset because they don’t think it’s fair and my husband is moaning because he thinks we’re now going to be stuck raising Sheldon Cooper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 56

Yadda yadda yadda

By Anonymous - 04/01/2026 20:00

Today, our desks were rearranged. I was seated next to a coworker who spends the entire day on the phone, chatting loudly with his relatives in another country while he works. I complained that it was distracting. Management won't do anything about it and warned me that "my complaints reek of racism." FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 71

Rare moment of humanity

By Clerk - 15/01/2026 15:00

Today, a guy at work yelled at me for being incompetent when he got frustrated because I couldn't immediately solve his problem. After we got it worked out, he apologized for overreacting and said I didn't deserve his reaction. I'm so accustomed to being treated like dirt that I started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 60

All dungeon, no dragon

By +1 staff of ENDLESS TALKING - 27/12/2025 00:00

Today, I went to a public tabletop RPG session, excited to finally try it out. It was full of a bunch of fucking theater kids that wanted to be friends with everything and not fight. Four interminable hours later, I finally escaped from the Chamber of Boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 323

Many such cases!

By Tired son - 30/12/2025 15:00

Today, my parents won’t shop at stores they think are "woke" anymore. Now they drive 35 minutes extra to a different grocery store, complain about gas the whole way, and pay double for basics. Somehow this is still the previous government’s fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 114

I could be your girlfriend

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 12:00

Today, I hate that my best friend has a boyfriend, who doesn't even treat her right by the way. I could treat her way better, she's all I've ever dreamed of. Too bad she's straight. Too bad I'm straight. I might be in love with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 446

Where are they going??

By Anonymous - 23/12/2025 15:00

Today, I ordered a food delivery and tracked it obsessively because I was starving. When it 'arrived', I realized I’d sent it to my old address from two years ago. Support said it was “successfully delivered.” Somewhere, a stranger is enjoying my dinner while I eat crackers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 491

One hand clapping

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 20:00

Today, I woke up earlier than most days, I spooned my wife, gently massaging her back and letting her feel I was ready for play. She finally woke up, got dressed, and didn’t give a damn. I had to work it out myself once again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 208

Winner winner, chicken dinner

By Anonymous - 10/01/2026 09:00

Today, I wrecked my car on the way to work, all because I could get free food from a restaurant for my team winning a game. My husband suggested it. Now I’m without a car, with massive hospital bills, all for the most expensive fast food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 438

Cheeky

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 15:00

Today, I learned that my kids refer to my much older fiancé as my “Emotional support corpse.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 401

Such a rush

By Later! - 16/12/2025 20:00

Today, I woke up late and rushed to catch the bus. I sprinted heroically, slipped on wet pavement, and skidded directly into a puddle deep enough to baptize me. The driver waited just long enough to make eye contact before closing the doors and leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 75

My name is actually Blurt

By Anonymous - 18/12/2025 15:00

Today, I saw my original birth certificate and realised I’ve spent almost all my life misspelling my first name. Now I’m worried it might invalidate pretty much every legal document I’ve ever signed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 93

Stiff competition

By Anonymous - 23/12/2025 20:00

Today, my husband has erectile dysfunction and is too scared to see a local doctor to get prescription helpers. He wants me to fly to another country and buy them over the counter for him instead! And I'm travelling next week. Not sure which is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 93

Move on

By Anonymous - 27/12/2025 09:00

Today, I bought a guy I’ve liked for months a Christmas present and expressed how much he meant to me. He said, “Lol, thanks.” He then went on a date with another girl. Apparently, being loving and caring towards guys gets you used and rejected. My lover girl era is now over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 522

Won't someone think of the landlords?

By Broke - 27/12/2025 12:00

Today, it's been months since I inherited a nice house, only to discover it overrun with squatters. I had to legally evict them, costing thousands. When they were ordered to vacate, they set the house on fire. Now I have a blackened ruin and depleted savings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 67

Merry Mystery Christmas!

By Santa - 24/12/2025 00:00

Today, I wrapped all my Christmas gifts at midnight. In my exhaustion, I forgot to label them. On Christmas morning, everyone will open presents while I try to remember who was supposed to get socks versus who was supposed to get a coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 360

Get a taxi

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 20:00

Today, my wife walked into the bedroom in a vest top, a mini skirt, tights, and fuck-me heels. I thought I was gonna get some for the first time in months, until she came out with the dreaded statement, “I’m off out with the girls, can you stay awake? I might need a ride home later.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 95

Disrespect

By Anonymous - 24/12/2025 03:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend of three and a half years is talking to two other women. I’m four months postpartum. Not to mention, he took our child to go see one of his girl best friend's house, when I specifically asked him not to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 144

Mommy's boy

By Fed up - 07/01/2026 09:00

Today, for the hundredth fucking time, my stepson asked for a snack twenty minutes before dinner. When I told him no, he cried to his mom, who yelled at me and gave him a granola bar. Then, when dinner came, he "wasn't hungry", picked at his food, and fussed and cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 100

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The Top

Today, I was quickly eating lunch during a work meeting. I ended up inhaling some of my sandwich so I've had toast stuck in my sinuses for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 261

Today, my boyfriend called and said he was stopping by to talk. I didn't understand why he would stop by, so I asked if he was going to break up with me, he said no. Half an hour later, he knocked on my door to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 154

You deserved it 5 757

Today, the guy I've been seeing told me he did not want to pursue a relationship with me after over 2 months of talking. He did the exact same thing to me 7 years ago. I fell for him twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 730

You deserved it 1 519

Today, I walked out of the grocery store, loaded my bags into my car, then sat in the driver’s seat. I tried to start the engine, but the key wouldn’t turn. That’s when I noticed the child’s seat in the back, which I don’t have. I was in the wrong car, and the owner was standing outside, laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 206

Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 399

You deserved it 1 714

Today, I met up with a few old friends for some wine and munchies. The main topics of conversation were colonoscopies, lactose intolerance and specific symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome. I'm sleeping over at one of their houses. Only 20 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 093

You deserved it 2 708