The Top

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It is though

By Timv86 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 349

You deserved it 3 151

I'm a huge fan

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 639

You deserved it 3 277

Pet peeve

By Herman - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 144

You deserved it 5 864

Got it?

By Jessica - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 008

You deserved it 3 191

Keep cool

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after searching for a job for over a year now, I finally got an interview. The pressure made me so nervous that I passed out in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 564

You deserved it 5 758

RAWK N ROLL!!!

By stagedivefail - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 893

You deserved it 59 866

All shook up

By Mike - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 312

You deserved it 8 796

New experience

By ray - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 141

You deserved it 24 360

Too relaxed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Scarsdale

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 035

You deserved it 3 665

Nature is healing

By kat, ACT - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 11 815

Monolith

By AshWil - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 947

You deserved it 23 502

It's alive!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 895

You deserved it 4 415

Chill out, lady

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Belgium - Gent

Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 143

You deserved it 1 820

Cheap and gross

By ilovemypup - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while at my job in a candy store, a boy stuck his hand into the bin, contaminating the candy. As I politely explained that the dad had to purchase the affected candy he refused, yelled, then angrily agreed to buy them. The total cost of the candy with the extra pieces? $1.69. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 181

You deserved it 816

Bad news

By Its over - 20/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 577

Cheap labor

By Anonymous - 22/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, on my family vacation, I tried to put my foot down and declare that my daughter would absolutely not be babysitting anyone's kids. Everyone got mad and made us go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 76

Family man

By Anonymous - 24/08/2026 00:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, I found out that yet again I'm having twins. Sounds great and all, but the only problem is that my mother-in-law is the one pregnant. Oh boy, I'm fucked! FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 654

I'm out

By Anonymous - 25/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Chino

Today, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to end my engagement after my fiancé agreed to let several of his obnoxious family members move in without even asking me. He says 'family over everything' but what does that make me? To make matters harder, I just found out I’m pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 47

Girls on tour

By Anonymous - 22/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I started my week-long girlscation with two of my childhood friends. So far, one hasn't stopped burping, farting, or talking about "needing dick", and the other can't stop trying to one up everyone else in the car. Day one out of five. Sigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 118

Ill gotten gains suspected

By Anonymous - 23/08/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my nosy mom opened my mail and saw how much I have in my account. She confiscated my debit card because she’s convinced no one could save that much working part time at Burger King and is demanding I confess where so much money came from. I'm moving out. Fuck her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 49

This is awkward…

By Anonymous - 20/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my brother and I spent almost $600 to plan and throw a divorce party for our mother. She proceeded to announce that she and our dad are staying together and that we completely jumped the gun. We deserve it, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 367

What are you doing?

By soembarassed - 23/08/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I was visiting friends in the country, and the property next to theirs has cows. Bored, I walked over to the fence and looked at a cow, who trundled over to the other side of the fence. I then saw the farmer staring at me and for some reason I said, "Just saying hi to your cow!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 234

Claws out

By Anonymous - 23/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I rescued a tiny kitten from the rain and brought him inside. I dried him off, gave him food, and wrapped him in a blanket. He immediately climbed onto my lap, purred for ten minutes, then sprinted upstairs and started destroying my curtains. I saved a cat. The cat saved nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 208

Productivity

By Anonymous - 25/08/2026 09:00 - Canada

Today, it's been three days since I started using a habit-tracking app to become more productive. I created goals for exercising, reading, cleaning, drinking water, and going to bed early. Now after three days, I'd spent more time checking the app than doing any of the things it was tracking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 220

For better and for worse

By Anonymous - 20/08/2026 00:00 - United States - Euless

Today, I'm getting a divorce after only three months because my wife accepted a job transfer that would require us to move across the country. I'm sorry but I do not want to be away from my kids or my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 151

Placeholder

By Anonymous - 20/08/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, but he told me my position is a legal requirement that produces no profit, unlike every other employee, ergo if I’m feeling ungrateful about my generous wage, he will happily fire me and hire someone else at minimum wage, saving the company money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 116

The one that got away

By Anonymous - 22/08/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my ex invited me to dinner where we had a wonderful time. She even picked the first restaurant I'd took her to, and just as I was considering asking her to get back together, she tells me that she’s engaged and didn’t want me to find out from Facebook. I swear the chefs heard my heart break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 118

Basic

By Sheldon Cooper says what? - 20/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, my boyfriend is pissed at me and went so far as to equate it to cheating that I went out to eat with some friends. I’d love to go to a restaurant with him but he refuses to eat anything other than beef, cheese, white bread, and chicken nuggets. That man has the palate of a 4 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 112

Naughty boy

By baddog - 22/08/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my dog started barking during a work video call. I picked him up to prove he was harmless. He immediately sneezed directly into my face, then licked my mouth. My microphone was still on, and everyone heard me yell, “WHY?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 176

Living my best life

By Anonymous - 22/08/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I sent my crush what I thought was a cute selfie. Two minutes later, she replied, “Nice waffle.” I checked the chat and realized I had sent her a photo of my burnt breakfast instead. She then asked if the black part was chocolate. It definitely wasn't. I have not opened that chat since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 327

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The Top

Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 192

You deserved it 1 578

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 113

You deserved it 2 287

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 793

You deserved it 3 429

Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 521

You deserved it 26 011

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 484

You deserved it 45 212

Today, I went on a first date and laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted. I tried to play it cool, laughed harder, snorted again, and then knocked over my drink. The waiter brought napkins and said, “Happens all the time.” To me, yes, it does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 124