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Maybe I'll stay home

By Anonymous - 16/06/2026 22:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, while I was doing my hair and makeup, I somehow managed to spray myself in the right eye with hairspray, and in the left eye with makeup setting spray. I left the house with two very bloodshot eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 5

Don't neglect yourself

By Anonymous - 24/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, I had to send a camper home before the summer session was up. She was very upset and cussed me out. I was then cussed out by her parents when they came to pick her up. She was sent home for refusal to shower and her bunk mates all complained about the corpse-like stench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 85

Be careful with that axe, Eugene

By Shredded - 02/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I finally had enough to buy my dream guitar, made in 1965. I buckled it into the passenger seat because it unfortunately didn't come with the original case. Once home, I tripped over my own feet before reaching my front door and scratched it on the concrete. It wasn't in mint condition when I bought it, but now it looks like it had a bad relic job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 148

Shipping is extra

By Lili - 18/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, a package marked "FRAGILE" arrived after weeks of waiting. The box looked perfect. Inside, the item was shattered. The only thing that survived the trip was the instruction manual explaining how carefully the product had been tested for durability. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 50

Power move

By Anonymous - 27/06/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - City of London

Today, I held the door with my back to greet everyone into a meeting. When I followed the last person in, my waistband managed to get looped on the door handle and shut behind me as I walked away, taking my body with it. I was leading the meeting, as the branch manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 72

It's just harsh noise

By Anonymous - 29/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I got to endure another "fun" team-building personality test. Like usual, it said I was defensive and using a belief that I can't follow conversations. I literally can't due to auditory processing issues. My coworkers keep assuring me it's safe to open up. Fuck psychology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 90

Your funny uncle

By Anonymous - 03/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I joined the wrong funeral procession, because I thought everyone gathering outside was there for my uncle, so I followed them into the chapel and even hugged two strangers. I didn't realize my mistake until someone started talking about a man I'd never heard of. I had to quietly sneak out in the middle of the service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 170

Clunker

By Anonymous - 19/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Austin

Today, a customer came in complaining about a weird noise in her car. I took it for a quick test drive, heard nothing, then told her it was probably nothing serious. The second I pulled back into the lot, the hood popped open because I hadn’t latched it properly after checking the fluids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 397

Red tape

By Anonymous - 20/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Reno

Today, after spending 40 minutes on the phone with an IRS agent to change my address, and after she asked me how to spell Reno, then she put Reno as a state. and Nevada as a city. She’s not able to help me because my address does not exist and now I have to send in the paper form. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 57

Such an honor

By Anonymous - 05/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I was selected to throw the ceremonial first pitch at a baseball game. I practiced every evening for two weeks. In front of hundreds of people, I got so nervous that I let go of the ball behind me instead of towards homeplate. The mascot had to retrieve it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 127

It's teamwork

By Anonymous - 08/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I'm home, taking care of my kids and keeping the house in order, so that my working wife is able to relax but she doesn't appreciate me at all and hates that I'm not like her best friend's wealthy husband, even though I do my best, and really wish I could be the breadwinner in the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 95

Blood drive

By Queasy Dave - 03/07/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried donating blood for the first time because my company was hosting a blood drive. Right after telling everyone I wasn't afraid of needles, I fainted before they could even use one. I woke up surrounded by phlebotomists offering me juice while my coworkers whooped like I'd just scored a goal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 255

I wanna go home

By Tired - 05/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my flight landed after a 12-hour trip, and I walked out of the airport without checking a single bag. Twenty minutes into my drive home, the airline called asking why I'd left my passport at immigration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 346

Dress to impress

By Olive - 22/06/2026 22:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, it's my 23rd birthday. My family - parents, siblings, and two cousins - asked to visit to help me celebrate. I agreed and spent some time cleaning my place up some. The catch: I relaxed a bit and did it while nude. It felt so nice, I forgot I was nude, so when they came at noon… well, it wasn't the birthday suit I'd hoped they'd see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 488

Gloom and doom

By FTheWorld - 01/07/2026 20:00 - Germany

Today, there's a huge heat wave, all because corporations were reckless and accelerated climate change. Now, more people are buying more air conditioners, further worsening the climate crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 441

Idiots, idiots everywhere

By Anonymous - 07/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, at work in the emergency department, we had several young people come in with heart palpitations. These idiots decided to mix pre-workout with Red Bull instead of water. I’m amazed none of them died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 60

Better call Saul

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 12:00 - Belgium - Herentals

Today, because my lawyer made a mistake in 2013, I have to pay a fine of over 500.000 euros. I don't have that kind of money. The lawyer is of course completely of the hook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 61

Lock your doors

By Semi-pro - 19/06/2026 12:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I had a scholarship interview video call. I spent an hour making my room look smart. A minute in, my little brother walked in behind me wearing a cape and carrying a spoon like a mic. I smiled through the interview whilst he proclaimed, “Welcome to my show!” and did a spin in the background. They asked follow-up questions, which somehow made it worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 94

GET OUT

By tired af - 08/07/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent twenty minutes trying to shoo a bird out of my apartment. After finally getting it outside, I closed the window, turned around, and realized I'd locked myself out instead. The bird flew away. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 228

Here in my car

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 15:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, just a week after replacing my car's head gasket in a 7-hour job, my car's timing desynced. Fixing it could take 6 hours. Maybe I should just walk everywhere from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 81

Not a theater kid

By Serious actor - 16/06/2026 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I signed up for a theater production as they needed extras. I had exactly one line in the entire play. During opening night, I became so focused on remembering the line, I forgot to walk on stage when it was my cue. People stood there on stage waiting for my character, who was backstage, congratulating himself for not forgetting his line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 342

Brain freeze

By Candidatedayy - 28/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I finally got an interview with my dream company. Everything went perfectly until the interviewer asked if I had any questions. I tried to say, "What do you enjoy most about working here?" Instead, I somehow asked, "Why do you still work here?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 99

Lost in music

By Anonymous - 05/07/2026 12:00 - France - Lille

Today, I wore noise-canceling headphones while cleaning my apartment. Apparently I'd been singing at the top of my lungs for nearly an hour, because my neighbor knocked on my door just to ask if everything was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 338

I did everything right and…

By Anonymous - 09/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I found a wallet on the sidewalk and tracked down the owner through social media. They thanked me, met me to pick it up, opened it, and immediately asked where the $20 bill had gone. There had never been a $20 bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 53

Raincheck?

By El - 30/06/2026 09:00 - Canada - Selkirk

Today, what was supposed to be an outdoor market on a busy street got moved to indoors somewhere super out of the way, where nobody goes to, over rain that didn't even happen. I regularly make $100+ at outdoor markets but between the shitty location and all the advertising being for the outdoor location, I made $11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 66

This is just the beginning

By Anonymous - 07/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, the power went out to my house a second time after coming on a few days ago due to a series of severe storms that rolled through the area. The first knockout took less than 12 hours. This one? A little over three days in a heat wave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 65

Gimme the juice

By Anonymous - 09/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, I was overjoyed when someone finally came to my house to get the electricity back up and running. All that was changed to dismay upon finding out they first needed to find a tree trimming and removal service to clean up all the fallen branches on the power lines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 56

Tyrannical

By Anonymous - 11/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I got to sports practice 30 seconds late and got kicked out for "poor time management". FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 52

Get on with it

By Bored - 18/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I went to play a game with a friend. Turns out he's the sort of dude who, when he first installs a game, gets obsessive with making sure the settings are EXACTLY right. We got maybe five minutes of gameplay in between menu sliders, hardware tweaks, and unofficial drivers and patches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 94

I'm so tired

By So tired - 19/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I worked a night shift at the hospital so long that I started putting things in the wrong pockets. I realized at 4 a.m. that I had taken a patient’s pen, my own phone charger, and two packaged crackers home in my scrub top. I also left my badge in the fridge next to the milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 98

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The Top

Today, I decided to light a lantern and watch it fly with my girlfriend after midnight. The neighbor's tree caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 752

You deserved it 13 801

Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 818

You deserved it 59 463

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 276

You deserved it 5 725

Today, I walked into a store to buy a type of bread I like. The stuff was sold out, so I asked an employee when they'll be restocking it. The employee yelled at me, because, "They do have that bread," walks to the isle, and then when she saw that they really were out of the bread, she walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 139

Today, after a year and a half of sticking to my new wife’s “no-sex-before marriage” rule while we dated, she brushed me off while I tried to consummate the marriage. Apparently, she’s not ready to have kids yet and “semen will get the sheets dirty.” Guess I’ll be jerking it on my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 904

You deserved it 819

Today, like most days recently, and even after 10 hours of sleep, I need at least 3 cups of coffee per day in order be able to… sit on the sofa and, well, not fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 219