NSFW and Intimacy: Kinda sus

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 21:31 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 367

You deserved it 9 785

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Same thing different taste

Imma head out

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 10:00

Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 315

By Bear - 01/02/2009 17:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 490

You deserved it 6 018

Noise complaint

By scarred - 27/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 184

You deserved it 3 969

So good

By shelby124 - 15/08/2012 16:31 - United States - York

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 142

You deserved it 39 972

Gatekeeping

By My eyes and ears - 21/08/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I have accidentally encountered my parents having "sexy time" four times in the past week. I'm an adult. My parents are in their fifties. Their bedroom door doesn't fully shut, so I always get an unpleasant glimpse when I walk past, occasionally punctuated by my mom's pleasured moaning. Kill me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 653

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 868

You deserved it 18 411

By guh - 31/08/2016 15:54 - Malaysia - Subang Jaya

Today, I heard grunting noises from my brother's room, like when he's having a seizure, so I went in to help. And now I need brain bleach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 805

You deserved it 4 298

By DisturbedMan - 15/01/2014 22:29 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 206

You deserved it 5 966

By gummy - 03/05/2019 16:00

Today, despite asking her to stop countless times, my stepmom still barges into my room explosively and without warning. I faint when startled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 197

You deserved it 188

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 00:02 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 857

You deserved it 6 584

MzZombicidal 36

Sunday 26 October 2014 8:29

You should never EVER just walk right into your parents room. >.< The reason why you did it is sweet, though. You're a good son. :)

mcleod 17

Sunday 26 October 2014 8:28

Always knock!

Comments

jlmontgomery 11

Sunday 26 October 2014 16:13

And this is why I always lock my bedroom door.

Mindset 11

Sunday 26 October 2014 17:12

My prayers will go out to you

oJoy 11

Sunday 26 October 2014 17:14

haha I've walked in on my parents years ago. it's still scary to think about even after 10 years -_- I feel your pain

SkullduggeryCain 11

Sunday 26 October 2014 18:36

THE EXACT SAME FREAKING THING happened to me last year....

stacey2570 21

Sunday 26 October 2014 18:55

I walked in on my parents some 30 plus years ago. Lol you never ever unsee that! !

lazyslumber 18

Sunday 26 October 2014 19:08

This is why I prefer soundproofing

IWishIWasObama 12

Sunday 26 October 2014 19:12

ydi! you just automatically assume it was domestic violence

TheLadyOpal 30

Sunday 26 October 2014 21:16

Better to mistake wild sex for domestic violence than the other way around.

rushalm 7

Sunday 26 October 2014 19:45

Well look at the bright side.. You got the rest of your life ruined.. I'm sure you won't be able to imagine them dressed even at the dining table!:P

grovetuckey 2

Sunday 26 October 2014 20:04

there's a sub redit for that

Frostillicus123 10

Sunday 26 October 2014 22:55

all I can say is dude

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The Top

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 955

You deserved it 48 130

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

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You deserved it 66

Random

Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 788

You deserved it 2 185

Today, I bought a lanyard for my new car keys. "Epic Fail" was printed on it. Not two hours after getting it and putting my keys on it, I locked them in my car. I don't have a spare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 358

You deserved it 34 371

Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 147

You deserved it 3 003

Today, I watched Free Willy with my daughter. Later on she decided to free her 6 pet mice into the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 792

You deserved it 8 462

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 988

You deserved it 57 503

Today, my girlfriend told me she is breaking up with me for my friend, because she likes people with diaper fetishes. I had no clue either of them liked that stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 639

You deserved it 125