NSFW and Intimacy: Kinda sus

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 21:31 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 367

You deserved it 9 785

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Same thing different taste

Imma head out

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 10:00

Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 315

By Bear - 01/02/2009 17:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 490

You deserved it 6 018

Noise complaint

By scarred - 27/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 184

You deserved it 3 969

So good

By shelby124 - 15/08/2012 16:31 - United States - York

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 142

You deserved it 39 972

Gatekeeping

By My eyes and ears - 21/08/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I have accidentally encountered my parents having "sexy time" four times in the past week. I'm an adult. My parents are in their fifties. Their bedroom door doesn't fully shut, so I always get an unpleasant glimpse when I walk past, occasionally punctuated by my mom's pleasured moaning. Kill me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 653

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 868

You deserved it 18 411

By guh - 31/08/2016 15:54 - Malaysia - Subang Jaya

Today, I heard grunting noises from my brother's room, like when he's having a seizure, so I went in to help. And now I need brain bleach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 805

You deserved it 4 298

By DisturbedMan - 15/01/2014 22:29 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 206

You deserved it 5 966

By gummy - 03/05/2019 16:00

Today, despite asking her to stop countless times, my stepmom still barges into my room explosively and without warning. I faint when startled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 197

You deserved it 188

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 00:02 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 857

You deserved it 6 584

MzZombicidal 36

Sunday 26 October 2014 8:29

You should never EVER just walk right into your parents room. >.< The reason why you did it is sweet, though. You're a good son. :)

mcleod 17

Sunday 26 October 2014 8:28

Always knock!

Comments

dontblamemeagain 6

Sunday 26 October 2014 10:58

Oh shit sorry man, I can lend you my brain bleach if you want?

laalaleslie 13

Sunday 26 October 2014 11:36

This would be the ideal moment for the neurolyser from Men in Black to exist.

weveallbeenthere 30

Sunday 26 October 2014 14:02

I wish I had one of those.

HeartYou101 31

Sunday 26 October 2014 11:40

Why are people asking why he didn't knock first? He thought his mother was actually being beaten!!

vikky538 28

Sunday 26 October 2014 13:10

and also some bleach for your eyes...

demonfacee 14

Sunday 26 October 2014 13:15

Yeah, it's not really a good idea. You had a valid reason to storm into their room though, so FYL. They must like really rough foreplay.

patrickalamo 47

Sunday 26 October 2014 13:25

50 shades of brain bleaching...

iwanttogotoparis 26

Sunday 26 October 2014 14:07

I would be horrified!!

xxcaitlannxx 15

Sunday 26 October 2014 14:25

You poor man.

captainsmegma 12

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:26

So mommy likes a few slaps to the ass. Now you know.

drmisin 5

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:49

Next time yell really loud; "Mom! I'm coming"!

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The Top

Today, I got a letter in the mail about my periodic health assessment for active duty soldiers. I came back positive for two curable STD's that are extremely common on Fort Polk. I haven't had sex with anyone but my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 640

You deserved it 4 098

Today, I was trying to put my kids to bed but my husband kept riling them up with yelling, wrestling, etc. By the time we actually got them to bed I was exhausted. His ass had the nerve to throw a fit because I was too tired for sex. Why does he think I was trying to get them to sleep?! FML

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You deserved it 113

Random

Today, my mom realized that the "door" part in "screen door" doesn't block sound when she began to talk to our neighbours about how much of a failure I am. I heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 562

You deserved it 1 211

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 183

You deserved it 4 417

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I agree, your life sucks 32 498

You deserved it 9 896

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 202

You deserved it 3 269

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour, the guy showed up, he stuck his hand in the driver's side window and asked, "You couldn't just reach in?" I forgot I left the window open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 187

You deserved it 108 601

Today, my youngest child gave me the cold she had. I also started my period yesterday. Now I can’t stop coughing, and I feel like a human ketchup packet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 883

You deserved it 200