Dogs

Jumping to conclusions

By Anonymous - 07/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I’ve been getting death threats after a former friend did a storytime online about me getting rid of my dog after having a baby. She completely left out I had no choice but to rehome my dog because my baby is deathly allergic and had to be hospitalized for breathing problems from the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 53

Karma

By fml - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I let my dogs out, and then realized they didn't have their electric fence collars on. I ran inside to get the collars, then dashed out to put them on my dogs. I ran through the electric fence. The collars were on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 916

You deserved it 41 388

What is this?

By Not my dog - 23/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I paid extra for priority shipping because I desperately needed my package before the weekend. It arrived on time. It was the wrong package. I'm now the proud owner of a dog raincoat. As in a raincoat for dogs. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 75

Man's best friend

By Anonymous - 20/07/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Woking

Today, I have a dog I got to help motivate me to keep active and prevent the worsening of my chronic pain and limited mobility. My dog just got diagnosed with chronic pain and limited mobility. Misery likes company, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 60

A very good boy

By Carrie - 16/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I waved at a dog through a car window because it looked pleased to see me. The dog wasn't looking at me. Its owner thought I was waving at him and got out to have a conversation. We talked for ten awkward minutes because he thought I was hitting on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 276

Settler setters

By Anonymous - 15/07/2026 00:00 - United States - Lady Lake

Today, my dogs have coordinated a T-formation as I lay down to sleep. Essentially cutting me off 80% of the bed. Too tired to fight, too annoyed to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 319

A very good boy

By Dog lady - 06/07/2026 00:00 - United States - New York

Today, I volunteered to watch my friend's dog. Everything was great until I took him to the dog park and another owner asked what his name was. I completely blanked, spent ten awkward seconds making eye contact with the dog, then finally admitted I'd been calling him "Buddy" all morning. His actual name is Kevin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 195

Tough break

By Anonymous - 27/06/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom - Woking

Today, my bouncy, friendly, loving, energetic dog was diagnosed with a spinal condition. Now, if she runs, jumps, or plays she’ll cripple herself. Bonus: she has no idea anything’s wrong, and just stares out a window wondering why her beloved human has suddenly banned her from doing every single thing she loves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 47

Party time!

By LegallyBored - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Regina

Today, my roommate went away for the weekend so she could hook up with a guy from Tinder that she's never met. This wouldn't be a problem if we hadn't already made plans for my 18th birthday, which is also today. Here's to a night of Netflix with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 302

You deserved it 748

Clifford lives

By Anonymous - 25/06/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was transferring video from my camera to my laptop so I could start editing my film project. My wife’s badly behaved dog decided to barrel through my office, knocking everything over. Screen shattered, camera broken, video files corrupted due to the cable coming out mid-transfer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 105

Invaded

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I put solar lights in my yard to finally figure out what my dog has been chasing over the fence at night. It's rats. She's been chasing rats that have invaded my backyard every night for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 578

You deserved it 205

GHOSTS!

By heartattack - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, after I moved into my new 1930's house, my elderly rescue dog raised her hackles and stared at the wall behind my bed for two full minutes. I thought she might have recognized something from her old job. She's a retired cadaver dog. I guess I'm never sleeping, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 912

You deserved it 377

The trap

By fuckendog - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Australia - Virginia

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 293

You deserved it 56 262

Stuck with it

By juice723 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Marblehead

Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 741

You deserved it 3 252

Spring cleaning

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 196

You deserved it 26 436

Bad doggo

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I was threatened with arrest for refusing to accept a citation for having a dog off leash in a park. It wasn’t my fucking dog! It was a very friendly stray that started following me on my morning walk. I tried to explain myself but the dog wouldn’t leave my side or stop barking at the cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 76

Zzzzzzz

By Alyssa - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring Park

Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 607

You deserved it 1 296

Bad boy

By wellokaythen - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 251

You deserved it 5 166

Doggy dog world

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Tucson

Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 212

You deserved it 1 204

Dirty boy

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 12:00 - Mexico - Puebla City

Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 87

Good girl

By Bento DaCosta - 12/04/2026 22:00 - United States - Arlington Heights

Today, my dog went on a walk for the first time. 90% of the walk was spent removing leaves and grass from her mouth, and she didn't want to go back home. I think she thinks she's a cow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 120

Baby come back

By chuchundra - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 012

You deserved it 8 110

Night killer

By Tom - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Israel

Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 830

You deserved it 3 679

Bad doggo!

By coral - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him, only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked, and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 045

You deserved it 12 556

At the car wash

By hold your horses pony boy - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 449

You deserved it 14 017

Bad boy

By DogBeater - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I've just moved into a new apartment. It's also the day my big baby of a dog stepped on a rock and began yelping when I tried to touch his paw. He "suddenly" felt better after I carried him inside. Now everyone thinks I'm beating my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 380

You deserved it 916

Doggy dog world

By No way, dog - 01/10/2025 00:00

Today, I bent down to pick up my dog’s mangled tennis ball at the park. At the exact same moment, someone’s Great Dane ran full speed into me from behind, knocking me face-first into the mud. My dog then ran off with another family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 91

How could you?

By Billie - 27/09/2025 22:00

Today, I walked into my apartment happy to see my dog. Instead of running to greet me, he ran straight past me to jump into the arms of my roommate, who had just walked in behind me. He wagged his tail like crazy while I stood there, rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 89

In my way

By Anonymous - 19/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 118

Bad doggo

By babyboomerang - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 262

You deserved it 6 838

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The Top

Today, I fell and fractured my tailbone. I just healed from my last tailbone fracture 4 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 503

You deserved it 1 397

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 911

You deserved it 4 048

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 218

You deserved it 2 383

Today, I find myself in an unfortunate situation. I met my girlfriend's family and it turns out she's the baby of the family with 7 older brothers, a dad and a granddad, and 6 uncles. That’s 15 very large, very overprotective men I’m sure all want me dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 419

You deserved it 391

Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 101

You deserved it 266

Today, my boyfriend learned about my filthy fetishes in the worst way possible. He found me naked in the bathroom, licking the dirty toilet seat. I couldn't even make an excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 641