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Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    NSFW

    Thin brown line

    By Poopy - 12/01/2009 16:19 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 57 964
    You deserved it 8 260
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    Make up Health Miscellaneous Racism #FAFO NSFW Awkward Sex Intimacy AITA Love Sexism Kids Relatable Money Cars Work Anger issues LGBTQIA+ Homophobia Religion Friends Weird Jealousy Dogs Animals Technology Videos Neighbours Annoying
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML
    I agree, your life sucks 42 442
    You deserved it 4 317
    Today, I found out the truth about my parents’ divorce and why our family is so distant. Turns out my dad had an affair with not one, but two of my mom’s sisters. And that my youngest cousin is also my half-sister. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 411
    You deserved it 159
    Today, the friend who I'm crushing on but doesn't like me like that back said she wants us to keep our distance AND got angry because I told her I joined a dating app. Now she thinks I lied about my feelings. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 666
    You deserved it 180
    Today, I unthinkingly did something dangerous and now I have a painful kink in my neck. What dangerous thing did I do? I yawned. Twice. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 793
    You deserved it 113
    Today a big-ass hawk swooped down and carried off my daughter’s dog. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 158
    You deserved it 136
    Today, I gave a presentation at work using my laptop. When I plugged it into the projector, the last thing I had Googled popped up on the big screen: “Do hamsters get depressed if you ignore them?” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 189
    You deserved it 325
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