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Chilling dystopian brainrot

By Anonymous - 28/07/2025 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, it's been a week since I giggled at my coworker who was worried our jobs will be replaced by AI, since we're delivery drivers. At first I was amused and sceptical, but some sort of paranoia has since kicked in, and I'm now imagining AI drones taking over our jobs and I'm bugging out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 379

Classic

By Anonymous - 13/10/2025 00:00

Today, I threw all my clothes into the washer, including my favorite red hoodie. Apparently, I forgot a Kleenex in one of the pockets. I now own a wardrobe of pink, soggy tissue confetti-covered gunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 340

I got lamped

By Anonymous - 31/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out that all the allegations made against my father were false. I tried to apologize for not standing by him, but he punched me in the face and told me that he hated me. My nose is broken. I won't press charges because I know I deserve it, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 457

Dad of the week

By Fuck u brian - 07/12/2025 03:00

Today, I picked up my son, who was recently diagnosed with ARFID (avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder), from my ex-husband. My ex said, "Yeah, he's over that bullshit eating thing. I told him no video games or TV unless he tried something new at every meal." I hate this smug fucking prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 640

Level up

By WhoamI? - 12/09/2025 03:00

Today, I got a bad performance rating at my new job. I was very depressed, and a colleague tried to console me. He said, "You're doing a good job for a level 59." which is a junior developer. I'm a level 63, a senior developer and a level above him. I don't know what hurt me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 220

I just wanna go home

By Irish goodbyyye - 23/12/2025 09:00

Today, I tried to leave a rowdy Christmas party early. The apartment door creaked loudly, someone asked where I was going, and suddenly I was explaining my schedule to 10 drunk people. I stayed another hour to avoid more drunk people telling me to, "COME ON, STAY, HAVE A DRINK." FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 306

Karma delivers

By Anonymous - 11/02/2026 03:00

Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 402

Hair today, gone tomorrow

By Frankie - 17/10/2025 00:00

Today, I unwittingly told the barber, “Do whatever you think looks best.” He got creative. Forty-five minutes later, I walked out with a haircut that made me look like a backup dancer in a 1990s boy band. My girlfriend said, “You're going to have to wear a beanie if you want to walk around with me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 455

Knock out

By don't rub it in bitch - 13/05/2026 22:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I saw a friend from college, who I'd cut ties with after her much older boyfriend convinced her to drop out of college and marry him. She looks amazing and has two beautiful kids, while I'm a struggling obese single mom. She said, "The hoe phase really worked out for you, I see." FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 480

I hate my life

By Anonymous - 08/12/2025 15:00

Today, during a presentation, I gestured too dramatically and launched my pen across the room. It bounced off the projector screen, hit my boss’s coffee cup, and splattered it across the conference table. Everyone froze while I jokingly apologized to the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 274

Hi there!

By Anonymous - 13/10/2025 22:00

Today, as I was getting out of the shower, I heard my roommate shout, “Your food delivery’s here!” I panicked, wrapped myself in a towel and ran to grab it before the driver left. The towel slipped halfway down the hall. I froze mid-motion when I realized that the delivery driver was still standing at the door, making direct eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 339

It's nothing personal

By Anonymous - 18/01/2026 15:00

Today, as a teaching assistant, I somehow uploaded my personal notes instead of the lecture slides. My “notes” included reminders like “slow down, idiot”, “this makes no sense”, and “students will hate this part.” Several students emailed me saying they appreciated the honesty. I would've appreciated the ground opening and swallowing me whole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 324

Link please!

By barbecued goat anyone? - 05/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I borrowed a goat from a coworker to clear out an overgrown section of our yard. It worked great, except for the part where the goat butted me on my ass. Of course my wife was filming and laughing, and later put it on Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 317

The first step is acknowledging it

By Alex - 23/09/2025 15:00

Today, I fucked up. I let my mental health problems and the alcohol win. I was horrible to my wife and basically ended my marriage due to my problems and insecurities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 534

Kids pick up stuff you say

By Embarrassed mom - 06/11/2025 15:00

Today, after a long, tedious and annoying wait in line at the supermarket, my 5-year-old told the cashier, “Mommy says you’re too slow.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 386

Sprightly

By Anonymous - 12/02/2026 09:00

Today, my husband (M72) and I (F69) had yet another argument over all the time he spends away from home doing hobbies and volunteering. After an emotional conversation about my moving out, he said, "Well, if we are done talking about that, let me tell you what I got to do today." Biggest emotional slap ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 437

Little helper

By Anonymous - 19/11/2025 12:00

Today, my 10-year-old "helped" me by “fixing” the parental controls on the iPad. I didn’t ask for help. Now it won’t let me access email, news, or even Google, but it will let me watch 47 hours of baby cartoons. I've been locked out of my own device by someone who can’t eat spaghetti without ruining a shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 358

Pet peeve

By Cherry Bomb - 05/10/2025 20:00

Today, I had to interview someone for a news article. Nothing too serious, but the person I was interviewing answered every question with a sentence beginning with "I want to say…" It's one of my pet peeves and it took a lot for me to not ask them to stop or I'd walk out. Yes, I'm a petty bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 360

Granny Smith

By TEETH - 12/11/2025 09:00

Today, in an attempt to eat healthier snacks, I took an apple to work. I ate it after lunch. Now my teeth are full of bits of apple and I can't focus on my work because it's distracting. Three hours until I can get home and floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 325

Man's best friend

By jess - 01/07/2025 20:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, my boyfriend was breaking up with me because he felt his needs were not met. I asked what I could do to change his mind. He said, "Suck my dick, right now." It got me more turned on than I thought possible. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 569

Don't do this sort of shit

By Ouch - 29/12/2025 15:00

Today, I got in the car with some friends, only to realize none of them were wearing seat belts. They heckled me until I took mine off, then the driver slammed on the brakes and I hit the dash. They'd all known it was coming and braced themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 613

Oddly specific

By Erica - 01/02/2026 09:00

Today, the guy I'd met online ghosted me because I’d left dead skin residue on his toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 357

Nervous wreck

By Anonymous - 14/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I kept running into the same guy in every aisle of the supermarket. By the fifth time, I nervously joked, “I guess we’re destined to be soulmates.” He gave me a deadpan look and replied, “I work here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 472

Siren alert

By Anonymous - 20/09/2025 20:00

Today, after weeks of everyone at work avoiding me, I finally asked my coworker what was up. She informed me, “You’re 350lbs and try to dress like an office siren, it’s pathetic to look at.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 496

Traditional polycule blues

By I just want a polycule!!!! - 08/03/2026 22:00

Today, I'm polyamorous. I dream of getting in those big, beautiful loving relationships you see in poly media, where everyone works to make it work. All I ever seem to meet are possessive freaks who want me all to themselves, or couples wanting a threesome. Do your reading! That's not how polyamory works! FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 631

Make plans, God laughs…

By Anonymous - 06/04/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we lost our dream house because the current owner heard us discussing our plans to landscape the massive back garden, and she decided she couldn’t sell to someone who planned to rip out all the flowerbeds she spent years cultivating. Why sell the house then, selfish cow? FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 751

Is that even legal?

By what a cruel man - 08/03/2026 03:00

Today, my rich ex-husband died, and left our two children $100 each, while leaving his other children seven figures. He said in his will that it was his "revenge" for my infidelity. Now my kids won't talk to me. How cruel can you be, holding on to a grudge and punishing your own blood for it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 828

Blasphemy

By Anonymous - 21/09/2025 12:00

Today, while reorganising my very extensive book collection, I found my 16th century Bible had about 15 pages glued together with what I suspect is 30 year-old raspberry jam. My son might be 36 years-old now but he’s going to get it when I see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 379

Terminally online

By Older men, ew - 03/03/2026 09:00

Today, a much older guy hit on me with the line, "Hey, Gen Z boss in a mini!" Ew, get away grampa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 299

Training wheels

By Pizza? - 08/04/2026 15:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I’m learning to cook and invited friends over to prove I’m improving. I timed everything perfectly… or so I thought. I realized I’d never actually turned the oven on. We stood around a beautifully plated tray of room-temperature lasagna while I said, “It just needs… a bit more time.” Two hours later, we ordered pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 377

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The Top

Today, my dad introduced me as his pet orangutan. I'm a redhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 608

You deserved it 2 696

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 315

You deserved it 2 485

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 153

You deserved it 5 041

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 466

You deserved it 3 829

Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 706

You deserved it 52 066

Today, my dad woke me up at 6 told me to take a shower and drove me to school only to say "just kidding, happy snowday!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 648

You deserved it 13 540