By Kaitlyn Aronson - 07/12/2018 15:30
The Top
By quadropheniac - 09/06/2009 16:18 - United States
Mind your own beeswax, Amanda
By look in the mirror bitch - 10/11/2020 14:04
By jessefonsexy. - 07/12/2010 11:08 - United States
By Rella - 15/12/2018 03:00
By Anonymous - 31/10/2014 10:55 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd
Overreaction much?
By soljaboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By oliversoden101 - 24/12/2015 14:50 - United States - Miami
oliversoden101 tells us more.
By pabj208 - 22/12/2015 16:53 - United Kingdom
Soooooo cute
By Anonymous - 21/12/2015 14:56 - United States - Seattle
By 117halo12345 - 17/12/2015 21:37 - United States - Sedgewickville
By _RobotInDisguise - 09/12/2009 23:47 - United Kingdom
By BlueB - 06/07/2013 15:42 - United States
By Casey W - 13/03/2017 12:00
By Anonymous - 25/07/2012 01:37 - United States - Solon Springs
Petty thief
By Already Broke Asf - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Rock Hill
Pants on fire
By Anonymous - 04/12/2009 02:17 - United States
Feeling a little lighter
By TheBetterRedhead - 28/03/2017 12:00
Blazing Saddles
By Jen - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
Slippery
By Estranged Fiance - 26/12/2016 05:49 - United States
By blasted - 25/11/2009 13:56 - United States
By ItWasHotAsBalls - 22/12/2016 00:56
By WiseGuy0481 - 19/12/2016 20:18 - United States
WiseGuy0481 tells us more.
When we were together it was constant comments about how I was barely staying afloat and "how could I take care of her if I could barely take care of myself?". I was trying everything I could to make her happy but she would not let it go. It ended up being part of the reason we split. That was almost a year ago. I now work for a great company and make really good money. I just bought my car last month. I see her coming out of the store and all those talks came shooting back into my head. I just wanted her to see me happy and doing well....ok I wanted her to feel dumb and regret splitting up. Nevertheless I blared the music and slowly rolled right into a car backing out. Luckily it barely scratched it. I saw no regret in her eyes, laughter yes, regret no. So yes I deserved it. Karma sucks.
By Ihavelike3bucks - 18/12/2016 13:51
Ihavelike3bucks tells us more.
Of course out of all the FMLs I've submitted through the years - this is the one that went through. Anyway, I'm better now! On top of that, I got hit with the flu like a truck. No laxatives, stool softeners, magnesium, enemas, etc helped and between that circle of hell I ended up going to the ER. Ended up literally tearing myself a new one with an anal fissure. I've never been constipated before so this was awful. Oh also my first day back, our entire building was shut down and we all were laid off. Happy Holidays everyone!
By Wheel chair bound - 16/12/2016 21:14 - United States - Marion
By moonbears - 22/10/2015 16:46 - United States - Portland
By SmallTownCutie - 29/05/2019 04:13
By screwyouchris - 16/10/2015 23:08 - United Kingdom - Brighton
Cartoonish
By mr_dinzaster - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 05:55 - United States
Keywords
Hi I'm the OP, I'm glad I got published that's awesome! The doctor fixed up my nose and it already feels a lot better, I think it's mostly the morphine though. Anyway I learned my lesson with guns and I doubt my dad will let me touch one again for a LONG time.