The Top

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Reunited

By Anonymous - 07/04/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I finally located all seven of my younger siblings, who I abandoned to foster care when I was 15, after our parents were deported back to Mexico. Each and every one of them told me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 229

I'm doing fine

By Superdad - 20/04/2026 03:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, trying to prove I can handle things solo while my wife is away. I packed my kid’s lunch, dropped him at school, and felt very accomplished… until the teacher emailed me a picture of the lunchbox. I had packed my own leftover spicy curry instead of his sandwich. Apparently, “It was too spicy but also kind of good.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 217

I did warn you…

By sadmd - 29/04/2026 00:00 - Belgium - Antwerp

Today, my elderly patient accused me of not taking good care of her, because, during my time off, she was taken to the hospital for anemia. I tested her for anemia months ago and discussed it with her, and she'd told me that she didn't want to go to the hospital. Guess who everyone believes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 73

Leaky

By Anonymous - 30/04/2026 20:00 - Canada - Cranbrook

Today I woke up to myself (24F) accidentally losing control of my bowels in bed. I’m not sick, just a food intolerance. The worst part is that my fiancé was sound asleep next to me and I had to wake him up to tell him what happened so I could wash the sheets and bed at one in the morning. He's is now sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 92

Zonked out

By Anonymous - 15/05/2026 00:00 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, I got my ass kicked by my boss at work. Why? Because I missed my shift on Saturday, because I slept through my alarms and the phone calls from my co-workers, and I woke up three hours later in a state of panic. This is all because of a medicine I'm on for migraines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 98

Open up

By Anonymous - 18/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my building installed a fingerprint scanner for the front door. Feeling futuristic, I pressed my thumb to unlock it while carrying groceries. The scanner rejected me five times in a row because I’d cut my thumb slicing bagels earlier that day. A neighbor watched me fail repeatedly before asking, “Do you actually live here?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 89

Not technically front row, then

By Jenny - 09/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, after I bought front-row tickets thanks to six months of saving, it was finally showtime. The person in front of me turned out to be really, really tall and wore a cowboy hat the entire show. Every photo I took looks like I paid $300 to watch the back of a hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 86

My love language is gibberish

By Anonymous - 18/07/2025 00:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I tried to sweet talk my crush by texting them in Spanish using Google Translate. I wanted to say, “You look amazing today,” but it translated to something like, “Your fish smells weird today.” They responded with a confused emoji and “¿Qué?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 378

Stalkers everywhere

By Anonymous - 10/09/2025 22:00

Today, I got another "secret admirer" letter from someone at work. I'm now talking to the police, yet again, because I'm a middle school teacher and suspect it was from one of my underage students. Nobody warned me about this when I became a teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 110

I'm OK, I swear

By Anonymous - 18/09/2025 00:00

Today, I ordered fries at a drive-thru, then drove away without paying. Realizing my mistake, I panicked and circled back, only to drive past the window again. The worker just stared at me as if I was pulling off the slowest robbery in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 331

Read the chatroom

By Paul - 25/09/2025 03:00

Today, I logged into what I thought was my team’s Zoom meeting. I turned my camera on, waved, and said, “What’s up, nerds?” Unfortunately, I'd somehow joined a client onboarding call for the CEO. Nobody said anything for ten seconds, and then the CEO asked, “And you are…?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 444

Cat owners can relate

By Anonymous - 26/10/2025 03:00

Today, I sleepily sprang out of bed to battle a determined off-brand rattly Roomba for the right to clear up a large puddle of cat barf. Guess who won… FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 273

Bad hair day

By Anonymous - 31/10/2025 12:00

Today, I went all out for my kids’ crazy hair day at school. I’m talking hair dye, liberty spikes, accessories, the whole nine. I was super proud of myself and the kids were ecstatic! That is until we showed up and realized that today was pajama day. Crazy hair day is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 201

Classic

By Anonymous - 09/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early by slowly backing my chair away from the table. One wheel got stuck, the chair flipped, and I took the loudest fall of my life in total silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 340

I can't breathe

By Anonymous - 14/12/2025 20:00

Today, my parents promised to drive me to my grandma's house instead of me taking the bus.I was so excited that I could finally have a week away from my suffocating parents but my dad cancelled tonight, so I'm stuck and secretly crying because if they'd have let me take the bus, I'd be at my grandma's, AWAY FROM THEM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 78

Life choices

By Anonymous - 18/12/2025 09:00

Today, I love eating cherry tomatoes. I was eating them last week, and left some on the counter. Yesterday, I ate two from the box again. It was rotten and sour. I didn't think or spit it out. Now I have severe stomach ache that I can't move. Why am I like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 454

Am I still here?

By Anonymous - 12/01/2026 03:00

Today, I walked into the wrong classroom, sat down, took notes for ten minutes, and only realized my mistake when the professor asked me to introduce myself and explain why I was there. I wasn’t even enrolled in the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 344

Love you!

By bad son - 13/01/2026 22:00

Today, I texted my mom, “Love you!” and immediately followed it with, “Oops wrong chat” except it wasn't the wrong chat. She replied, “???” and now she thinks I only say I love her by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 431

Stiff

By Anonymous - 24/01/2026 15:00

Today, I went to get checked out for my hip pain that hasn't worsened but isn't going away. When I practiced the stretches the physical therapist wanted me to do, it didn't hurt at all. When I did them much later by myself, it hurt like hell. I described my worst pain at the time as a 4. The pain now is a 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 79

Threadbare

By I was just joking - 26/01/2026 09:00

Today, I found out the hard way that other people can see your replies on Threads. I’m now sleeping on the couch and my girlfriend gave me 10 days to find another place to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 966

Lonesome tonight

By Anonymous - 29/01/2026 20:00

Today, I joined a dating website for the first time in 12 years and spent an hour carefully crafting my profile. Ten minutes after posting, my sibling texted me screenshots. I’d linked my profile to Facebook, where my bio appeared under my real name for half my extended family. Aunt Linda left a heart reaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 268

Who, me?

By Drive - 02/02/2026 09:00

Today, I waved at someone I thought was waving at me in my delivery truck. They weren’t. They were stretching. I still finished the wave and gave a thumbs-up because quitting felt worse. We locked eyes. I have to deliver to the same building again tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 205

Deviant Art

By Chae - 18/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got a request to draw a sexual art of a fictional character. Obviously, because that’s my job, I spent five hours doing it. I gave it to the person and it turns out it was a creepy guy I know and he tried to flirt with me by saying, “You are much hotter than her,… Girl.” I’m non-binary and only sleep with girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 184

Incel fantasy

By April - 22/02/2026 00:00

Today, I hard launched the guy I’ve been dating online. The guy who’s still mad that I friendzoned him commented, “See if he gives you rides, a shoulder to cry on, brings you food, and lets you copy assignments like I did for a year.” My now-ex dumped me and called me “heartless” for “using that poor guy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 646

What would you do?

By Anonymous - 06/03/2026 12:00

Today, I learned that repairing my car will cost more than it's worth. I'm barely making it paycheck to paycheck and I had to sleep in that car several nights this week after getting thrown out of my sister's house. Now I need a room AND a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 101

Nice try, bucko

By Anonymous - 26/03/2026 00:00

Today, while I was working as a delivery driver, a customer tried to scam me by changing their drop off address not once, but twice. I got in trouble for the late delivery, even though the customer’s threats are recorded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 71

Life is pain and suffering

By Anonymous - 31/03/2026 09:00

Today, when my sore right hip that I had finally started to feel a little bit better, I banged my right knee on the bookshelf that sticks out just a bit to the side of the doorway as I enter my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 89

Nature ain't all that great

By Lucky me - 09/04/2026 09:00 - The Netherlands - Weert

Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 87

Great management skills

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 15:00 - Germany - Kempten (Allgäu)

Today, my boss screamed at me because I didn't do what he'd said, despite him never giving me a specific order. A colleague was supposed to test an app. He can only do that with a tablet. How dare I give the coworker the tablet I was setting up anyway and not a specific one? He is done testing BTW. The app sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 67

Where were you?

By Numskull - 27/04/2026 09:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I showed up to my mate's wedding. There was a board for someone's 100th birthday instead. I screwed up the dates and the wedding was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 488

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The Top

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 180

You deserved it 15 557

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 300

You deserved it 2 085

Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 715

You deserved it 4 363

Today, I found myself watching Masterchef UK and was excited because there was an attractive female contestant. I then went on to imagine us getting married and being together forever. Man I am lonely, but more importantly need to get out more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 391

Today, my mom found out that I’ve been faking my exam grades, turning my 30s to 80s and 40s to 90s on the paper exams. She got access to my online student portal and saw my real grades. I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 1 683

Today, I found out my most attractive co-worker has a crush on me. I'm 53. She's 16.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 123