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Bide your time

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 09:00

Today, I'm being forced to go back to my parents', who kicked me out because they thought I was gay. I'm not. There was a misunderstanding. I don't want to go back to them because they've shown me what kind of people they are, even if I'm straight, but the police and Social Services are making me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 107

Alarming

By Billie - 26/03/2026 22:00

Today, I went to the grocery store, loaded up on food, then went to open my car door. When I opened it, the car alarm went off. As I reached for my keys to shut it off, I was tackled to the pavement. Apparently someone else owns a car identical to mine, and he has a violent temper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 85

Kinda expected

By Anonymous - 08/04/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I've been getting nothing but hate and backlash for letting my son, who had severe COVID, attend his father's funeral. It was the only chance for him to say goodbye, but nobody cares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 626

Cost of living crisis

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had an interview to be a teaching assistant. Part of the interview was to give a short reading exercise to 5 kids, which I did. I was marked down and ultimately didn’t get the job because I didn’t provide my own paper for the kids to write on. I'd used paper from the classroom. WHAT THE F…? FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 58

Close shave

By Anonymous - 21/04/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, as a barista, I tried to be quick during the morning rush. Someone asked for oat milk, so I grabbed the carton without checking. It wasn’t oat milk, it was the cleaning solution bottle we keep under the counter, same shape, same colour cap. Luckily I noticed before serving it, but my manager watched the entire thing in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 396

It wasn't a good day

By NunjaBusiness - 08/05/2026 22:00 - United States - Hershey

Today, it was a milestone birthday - another zero year - and I got many acknowledgments from everyone in my family, except for the one person that means the most to me: my wife never acknowledged my birthday. No card, text or anything. I truly believe she hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 91

Happy family

By Blenda - 17/05/2026 20:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

Today, after my mom moved our senile grandma in with us rather than find her a care home, she wakes up screaming at least once a night, and usually screams for a good few minutes. Then this morning she started throwing plates at me because she thought I was a criminal. It's only been four days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 72

Coming or going

By Anonymous - 21/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Rowlett

Today, my job transfer was canceled literally as we were getting in the U-Haul. While my kids celebrate that they don't have to leave their friends and everything, my wife and I are fighting like cats and dogs over the huge mess this shit created. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 58

Winning, so much winning

By Cheated - 13/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I won a free year's supply of coffee in a contest. Turns out "a year's supply" meant 12 coupons for small coffees, one per month. The giant ceremonial check they gave me was worth more than the prize. I hope the publicity they got out of me was worth it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 64

Happy Father's Day

By Anonymous - 22/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom said I was not allowed to spend Father's Day with my dad. When I tried to point out that I'm 24 years-old and she couldn't stop me, she disabled my car. I don't trust rideshare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 119

Careful

By Anonymous - 15/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Thornton

Today, I was microwaving chicken noodle soup and these ones tend to explode a lot, so I tried so very very hard to watch it carefully. I was able to microwave it fully without it exploding but after I pulled it out of the microwave, I spilled half of it onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 233

How to make it awkward for everyone

By Anonymous - 09/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I got a haircut at a fancy salon and made small talk with the stylist. While she washed my hair, I said, “Wow, this is better than my girlfriend does it.” She replied, “That’s because I’m a professional. Also, I’m your girlfriend’s cousin.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 466

Name that tune!

By Anonymous - 06/09/2025 15:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I signed up for karaoke at a bar, thinking I’d picked a fun, easy song. When it started playing, I realized I'd unknowingly chosen the eight-minute extended remix with two full guitar solos. I had to awkwardly sway on stage for five minutes while everyone drank their beers silently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 373

Slacking or what?

By BarneyR - 09/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to log into my email at work. Frustrated, I reset my password. As soon as I finished, IT called to remind me that the reason I couldn’t log in was because I was typing my Netflix password the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 393

I have needs

By why - 11/09/2025 20:00

Today, as always, my boyfriend has a micropenis. He found my dildo and started crying because it was bigger than him. I love him to death and would never cheat on him, but sometimes I just need to be filled up. Am I wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 152

TGIF

By Anonymous - 26/09/2025 00:00

Today, I ended a presentation with what I thought would be a mic-drop moment. I said, “Thank you for your time,” clicked the slide remote dramatically, and walked straight into a glass wall instead of the exit door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 448

Let's celebrate

By Anonymous - 29/09/2025 15:00

Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 99

Do you have no sense of smell?

By Anonymous - 01/10/2025 09:00

Today, I tried to surprise my partner by lighting candles all over the living room. It looked magical… until one candle melted the TV remote into a puddle of plastic. We spent our romantic evening trying to Google “How to change channels without a remote.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 454

Dazed and confused

By Anonymous - 27/10/2025 03:00

Today, after my workout, I opened my locker to find… nothing. No phone, no keys, no wallet. I panicked and reported it to the front desk. Turns out I’d used locker 37, but my stuff was in 73. The staff found it immediately. I thanked them like they’d saved my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 378

Carpe Diem

By Anonymous - 01/11/2025 12:00

Today, at the Y, someone told me I had a cute ass. I liked that until I realized: a) a woman said it; b) I'm a woman; c) I'm straight; d) it's my first compliment in 2 years even though I'm 25; and e) I'm so in need of positive attention I ran after this woman to ask for a date. Me desperate much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 286

Kinda impressive

By Dan the man - 08/11/2025 12:00

Today, during a job interview, the interviewer asked me to “describe a time I overcame a challenge.” My mind went blank. After 10 seconds of silence, I blurted out, “Once, I tried to cancel my gym membership.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 144

None taken

By Sorry, guys - 13/11/2025 20:00

Today, it’s officially been 37 days since my fiance has seen me naked and longer than that since he’s tried to give me an orgasm. I’ve lost track of how long it’s been. I don’t want to end up like the people on here talking about sexless marriages for years and decades before we’re even married. No offense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 113

Just perfect

By Anonymous - 17/12/2025 15:00

Today, I finally told my boss that I need a week off to recharge; I presented dates, reasons, and felt brave. He nodded approvingly, then checked my calendar and asked, “Perfect, can you train the new hires that week?” I stared at my triumphant note then mourned my stolen week. Ugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 112

New fad dropped

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 20:00

Today, I made the horrible mistake of introducing my girlfriend to Renaissance Faires. Now she’s completely obsessed and insists on getting brand new costumes, wigs, accessories, etc. for each new event. She’s even looking at fairs several states over. What have I done? FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 414

Whiplash

By Anonymous - 05/02/2026 03:00

Today, I realized that the medication I take because of bowel issues only works for about 6 hours. After that, it's one run to the toilet after another. The problem is that I can only take it twice a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 57

Oral relief

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 20:00

Today, I went to the store with my mask on, as usual. As I walked past a guy, he reached out and tore the mask off my face, revealing my secret: a pacifier I use to control my horrible anxiety and agoraphobia. I froze, then collapsed to the ground screaming, and had a stress-triggered seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 550

No time for remorse

By Anonymous - 26/02/2026 15:00

Today, I found out that my ex-husband was telling the truth, he never did cheat on me. We've been divorced for six years and I just got remarried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 905

Keyboard warrior goes clackity clack

By Anonymous - 12/03/2026 20:00

Today, the guy in the cubicle across from me complained about me to our boss. Apparently, his relatives heard me typing something on his daily 8+ hour call to them, and now don't believe he has his own office. My boss took his side and asked me to type quieter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 66

Madcap plans

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 15:00

Today, my wife inherited her grandparents' farm in Hawaii and she is now dead-set on uprooting our kids and everything, and moving the family there. I keep telling her that just isn't feasible or financially possible, but she won't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 110

We're open

By Milos Maricic - 16/03/2026 09:00

Today, after six months of building my SaaS (Software as a service) every night after work while juggling life with three kids, I finally launched it. Two months later, it’s still getting almost zero traffic. Turns out building the product was the easy part… getting people to actually visit it is the real nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 127

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through charades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 084

You deserved it 5 189

Today, I found out that being rhythmically challenged really really sucks. I was trying to dance around sexily for my girlfriend, and I was doing that one move where you thrust your pelvis forward, and swing you hand from side to side. I hit myself in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 777

You deserved it 26 722

Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 954

You deserved it 3 738

Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 782

You deserved it 64 448

Today, at our work's Christmas party, our manager got completely trashed and let it slip that our branch is closing. Some of us will be transferred, but about 2/3 of us, including the manager, will be fired on the 1st of January FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 95

Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 106