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My son the moron

By Why son? - 22/03/2026 20:00

Today, my son got pulled over by a cop for speeding. He decided it was bullshit and floored the gas. He barely made it half a mile before losing control and crashing into a house. Now I'm being sued by the homeowner, my son is in jail, and my car is totaled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 137

Faux pas

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 22:00

Today, as a graphic designer, I sent a “final” logo to a client after days of revisions. They replied that they loved it. Five minutes later I saw I'd left a hidden layer visible with a joke note that said “this version is the least ugly one.” I had to send a follow-up email claiming it was “an internal label that accidentally exported.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 437

Britain's Got Talent?

By Anonymous - 13/04/2026 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during an important music audition, I fudged everything up and forgot half the lyrics of the song I was performing, so I just sort of tailed off into embarrassed silence on stage. It was an original song, I wrote the lyrics myself. All the lady could say was, "Good luck next year, dear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 80

Pump and dump

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 20:00

Today, the judge sided with my ex-wife in our divorce, even though the stupid bitch fell for some crypto scam and lost all our money and left us destitute. Apparently, she's an "innocent victim" and I'm a bad person for not standing by her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 128

Noob

By Pete - 08/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I’m a gym newbie and finally worked up the nerve to use the squat rack. I loaded a very modest weight but still felt proud. Halfway through, I realized I’d set up directly in front of the mirror… backwards. I was basically doing awkward half-squats facing everyone else, and two people were politely trying not to laugh behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 89

Keep your eyes on the road

By Just drive - 09/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, as an Uber driver, I try to make small talk with passengers by guessing where they were from based on their accent. I got it completely wrong. This one said, “I grew up two streets from here.” The rest of the ride was silent except for my GPS telling me where to go, which felt appropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 448

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The Top

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 330

You deserved it 6 419

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 091

You deserved it 3 685

Today, my wife found out when I’m super busy with work and can’t be bothered to walk upstairs for a pee, I just pee into a bottle and empty it out the window onto the grass. I get it’s sorta gross but the way she was yelling you’d have think I took a shit on the drive in full view of the neighbours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 1 425

Today, I got married. My sister and father could not attend because they already had plans. My sister went to the mall with her friends, and my dad went to a pool party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 883

You deserved it 4 611

Today, I had the rehearsal for two of my friends' wedding. My ex-husband is also in the wedding, and I just found out we have to walk down the aisle together 'for height reasons'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 888

You deserved it 3 896

Today, it's been 1 month since I've accepted that I'm gay, 1 week since telling my strict, southern baptist, bible-thumping parents, 1 day since my mom stopped crying and my dad finally spoke to me, and 1 hour since discovering that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 871

You deserved it 2 099