Today, my mother-in-law yanked my corset so tight that I shit myself. While wearing my dress. On my wedding day. FML
Today, my three housemates got into a huge fight and ended up declaring their undying hatred for each other. They now refuse to talk to each other, and I've become their go-between. Yesterday, we signed the lease for another year in the house together. FML
That is one thirsty pig!
Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML
Today, a coworker just came back from being ill and getting chemotherapy for a month and a half. I saw her bald head. I’d never seen her like that before. The astonishment disabled my verbal filter and I blurted out, "Jada Pinkett-Smith." Let’s just say besides this FML, I’m also submitting online resumes. FML
Today, I discovered that my family routinely waits until after my bedtime to order a pepperoni pizza, my favorite food. If that wasn't bad enough, I'm 17 and still have a strictly enforced bedtime. FML
poor cat i couldnt help but laugh at that poor cat