Wake Up Call By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00 The most frustrating sound ever. I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 90 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 423 You deserved it 539 881
Today, my sister-in-law asked why I wasn't out partying with my friends to celebrate the new year. My mom then asked "What friends?". Ah, the new year begins. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 484 You deserved it 2 966
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML I agree, your life sucks 11 663 You deserved it 29 834
Today, after I used to look down on my brother for being a nerd, he now creates computer software for a living making megabucks. Meanwhile, I deliver lorry loads of gravel and cement to building sites for minimum wage, one step above breaking rocks for a living. FML I agree, your life sucks 221 You deserved it 1 877
Today, my bike got stolen because I left my keys in the lock. On my way home, I saw my bike in front of a store, unlocked. I jumped on it, only to get punched in the face by the guy that had taken it, and got it stolen from me again. FML I agree, your life sucks 39 607 You deserved it 13 916
Today, it's been 3 years since my wife told me we should take a break from sex. We haven't touched each other since. FML I agree, your life sucks 450 You deserved it 133
This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.