Wake Up Call By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00 The most frustrating sound ever. I agree, your life sucks 466 You deserved it 90 Share Tweet Share
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 255 You deserved it 3 518
Today, my neighbor turned down his loud music that he's been playing for months, only to turn on a porn movie at maximum volume. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 055 You deserved it 3 033
Today, I had the best time of my life with the girl of my dreams. I took her out to lunch, we went to the beach to jetski and had a romantic walk. It was the perfect day. Then, in the evening, I had to go home to my boring wife. FML I agree, your life sucks 276 You deserved it 4 679
Today, I still can't poop unless I hear the sound of the bathroom fan. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 810 You deserved it 1 437
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend who is a VERY loud moaner. He kept saying my name over and over again then all of a sudden his mom comes in and says "yes hun...oh God sorry"...that's how I found out I have the same name as my boyfriend's mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 10 245 You deserved it 1 105
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 848 You deserved it 2 335
This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.