Intimacy: Unfortunate

Unfortunate

By Anonymous - 30/10/2012 00:39 - United States

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 191

You deserved it 5 531

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/05/2012 22:09 - Netherlands - Vianen

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 507

You deserved it 24 728

By Samantha35 - 28/01/2019 20:00

Today, I was substitute teaching a high school English class. A student discreetly told me that my zipper was open. I tried to zip it up, but the zipper got caught on my underwear. When I bent down to pick up my pen, my pants split. Before I turned around, I heard the sound of phones taking pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 622

You deserved it 302

By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 585

You deserved it 6 967

By da man - 11/02/2009 11:38 - Canada

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 545

You deserved it 17 412

By overreacting - 03/04/2015 06:08 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 939

You deserved it 3 019

By top dog! - 11/10/2011 20:05 - Australia

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 485

You deserved it 2 939

By Hairy Cheek - 15/04/2016 04:27 - United States - Columbia

Today, I was at work and caught my pants on the corner of the door hinge. They tore completely open and my hairy cheek was exposed for the whole office to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 423

You deserved it 2 163

By bloodyfreakinawful - 14/12/2012 06:40 - United States - Seabrook

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 993

You deserved it 3 206

The ole paper cut excuse

By alliwantisabandaid - 11/02/2011 08:27

Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 277

You deserved it 3 982

Best teeth in the game

By Nochnoii - 07/10/2009 20:07 - Belgium

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 679

You deserved it 13 265

xSonic 9

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:45

Right....filing down your nails. Mmhmm

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:54

That's a good cover story OP, but we know that you were twiddling your twaddle. We know.

Comments

justforfun88 1

Tuesday 30 October 2012 19:30

I wish I was there to see that!

SoultheWolf 19

Tuesday 30 October 2012 23:21

I've done this before, but this is when you use the OUTSIDE part of your thigh to file it. Not the inside next to your groin.

PhishloverA 14

Wednesday 31 October 2012 3:33

Filing down your nails? That's what they all say OP. I hope you stood up for yourself though

kbonbon 2

Wednesday 31 October 2012 15:38

Ha that's funny, a guy in my school got expelled for doing that in Spanish class, and all you get is a talking to from the principal?

nat11_fml 12

Wednesday 31 October 2012 23:25

Next time get a band-aid to wrap around your broken nail. It keeps it from catching on things and bugging you the rest of the day.

kobelstone23 13

Friday 2 November 2012 6:59

I knew a kid who did that!....masturbated in class....to my girlfriend.... But he had no friends, and for some reason he liked me. So I didn't have the heart to do anything about it.