Today, while leaving our county courthouse after testifying as...

DWIcop - 03/04/2019 00:00

Today, while leaving our county courthouse after testifying as the arresting officer in multiple DWI cases, I hit a wrong way sign in the court’s parking lot. All the defense attorneys were outside, asking me if I was drunk. FML

1 782

834

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

ironic driver - 04/09/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

35 594

4 626

driverman12 - 04/04/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

44 189

31 015

shit - 13/05/2010 21:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML

33 001

13 779

Potholing

limpdick9 - 19/11/2014 18:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

35 515

7 194

drewig - 10/05/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

8 156

53 622

anon - 28/04/2012 14:31 - United States - Washougal

Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML

8 604

91 214

Anonymous - 31/12/2009 20:10 - United States

Today, I got in a car accident on the way to the DMV to take my drivers test. FML

25 953

9 641

This is fine

Anonymous - 16/07/2011 23:09 - United States

Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML

12 874

46 321

Anonymous - 18/05/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

43 016

24 017

Gg - 23/07/2009 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML

53 005

4 140

TxKitten79 10

Wednesday 3 April 2019 1:07

I laughed. sorry.

stormy0307 16

Wednesday 3 April 2019 14:08

Driving while intoxicated. It’s the American legal term for drunk driving or driving while on drugs.

Jonkbaby 22

Wednesday 3 April 2019 0:10

Arrest 'em all!

TxKitten79 10

Wednesday 3 April 2019 1:07

I laughed. sorry.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 3 April 2019 5:13

I’ll bet you caused more damage than all of your perps.

abfab5300 13

Wednesday 3 April 2019 7:28

What does DWI stand for?

stormy0307 16

Wednesday 3 April 2019 14:08

Driving while intoxicated. It’s the American legal term for drunk driving or driving while on drugs.

Akitakat 31

Wednesday 3 April 2019 22:43

Drunk driving is No joke! Thank you for helping get these people off the roads before they kill someone.

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, we found out that my 13-year-old cousin is pregnant. My mom then turned to me and asked why I decided to wait so long. I’m only 20. Instead of being worried that this young girl has potentially ruined her entire life, my mom just complained that her sister "gets to be a grandma first." FML

2 539

158

Today, I declared I was done with online dating after several disasters. My friend set me up with a friend of her husband's. Turns out he's one of the men who rejected me on the website. He laughed when he saw me and said, "Well, this is awkward" and left. FML

14 634

994

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

39 653

2 817

Today, whilst cleaning the living room, I heard snickering coming from my bedroom. My two nephews had found my "play cupboard" and were blowing up condoms like balloons. FML

4 061

1 006

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

31 011

4 354

Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML

21 205

1 428