Transportation: Today, it was my 23rd birthday. I didn't make it to my party...

By totallymyfaultyeah - 18/07/2017 05:00

Today, it was my 23rd birthday. I didn't make it to my party because I was rear-ended on the way there by a 16-year-old in a red mustang going 50+ mph. My birthday cake landed in my lap and I was yelled at by his mother for getting chocolate icing on their insurance card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 947

You deserved it 317

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 04:57 - United States - Paducah

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 022

You deserved it 4 324

Banger birthday

By WhoDoYouLove6208 - 11/10/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, it was my 19th birthday. My boss let me out early to celebrate. On my way home I was hit by a man doing 65 in a 40mph stretch of road. My car was completely destroyed. I spent the rest of my birthday sitting in the ER being treated for a pinched shoulder nerve and whiplash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 899

You deserved it 2 545

By crashednowcrushed - 26/04/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 338

You deserved it 14 846

Where's mah caaaaake?

By Furi - 28/05/2021 11:01

Today, it was my mother’s birthday. I was on my way to pick up her cake but I got into a car accident and ended up in the emergency room. When I call her to explain what happened, she called me an useless fuck for ruining her birthday by not bringing the cake. She’s yet to ask if I'm okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 82

Anyone for cake?

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend's mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 644

You deserved it 7 904

By as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - 05/04/2014 22:04 - United Kingdom - Birkenhead

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 153

You deserved it 3 509

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 11:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 193

You deserved it 5 409

Baby don't hurt me...

By whatislife1969 - 08/09/2017 10:00

Today, my friends got me a cake for my birthday. As I blew out the candles, they shoved my head into it and I was knocked out for 3 minutes before an ambulance took me to the hospital. I got a concussion from a cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 597

You deserved it 257

Smash

By Unintended Victim - 08/12/2022 02:00

Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 91

By jk2010 - 03/02/2010 17:44 - Israel

Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 127

You deserved it 55 746

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 18 July 2017 5:44

People have ******-up priorities. Icing on the insurance card is not important in an accident like this! The truly important thing is: What are the people at the party supposed to do without cake? They came expecting cake and you failed them. How are they supposed to carry on?

rlocicero 21

Tuesday 18 July 2017 5:25

nobody likes you when you're 23

Comments

Max Curry 6

Tuesday 18 July 2017 5:13

did she wish it was vanilla?

rlocicero 21

Tuesday 18 July 2017 5:25

nobody likes you when you're 23

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 18 July 2017 5:44

arioch_fml 20

Tuesday 18 July 2017 6:26

The cake is a lie, they never had any hopes of getting any.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 18 July 2017 6:31

Oh, they had hopes! Hope for cake is all they had. The OP probably ate the entire cake himself (I like to do that on my birthday...or Saturday) and made up the car crash story to elicit sympathy and deflect the scorn of stealing everyone's cake-hope.

Little Richard 11

Tuesday 18 July 2017 8:28

The only solution here, is for Richard to buy them a new cake. Go ahead Richard!

Maleficus_fml 12

Tuesday 18 July 2017 6:09

You should have shoved the rest of that cake in her face. just don't get anymore on the card though

wmayrhofer 18

Tuesday 18 July 2017 6:13

If you bought your own cake and it ended up in your lap when you got rear-ended, were you already eating it on the way to your party with your tv and your cat?