Kids: Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal... - FML

By SpiderFather - 02/07/2013 08:01 - France

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 46

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

lhazz11 23

Tuesday 2 July 2013 18:56

At least he's creative

Nolimit2217 32

Tuesday 2 July 2013 18:56

I like his style.

Comments

guci101 14

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:05

At least he knows how the microwave works... I sure didnt know that at 7 years old.

chuckcloninger 12

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:06

You got a great kid there! Be sure you appreciate them while he's young. Someday he's going to grow up to marry a woman you don't like and make your life miserable. :-)

clevercake 21

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:08

brb. off to find a spider.

ViviMage 39

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:11

Don't quit your day job yet, Peter Parker!

Bobby_Shane 11

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:12

Worth a try

Jemm_fml 29

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:19

...brb

pnutbutternjelly 15

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:19

That does suck, but I love how your kid thinks :)

tashbee 6

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:33

That's awesome!

Megan98 18

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:34

That's a pretty good plan!

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:38

Hope he doesn't try to revive it afterwords.,,

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, my new girlfriend canceled my badly needed haircut appointment. She feels that having my female hairstylist wash and cut my hair involves "too much touching" and "counts as cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 829

You deserved it 2 012

Today, I have what is probably a cold sore on my upper lip. I also have a mustache, which keeps rubbing against it. Because of this, no matter what I do, it stings. The next few days are fixing to be very, very long and miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 191

Today, I woke up to all 4 of my wheels stolen from my car. The thieves were kind enough to leave the car resting on wooden blocks and bricks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 070

You deserved it 2 486

Today, I went to a family gathering and was asked by multiple relatives why I was still single. Trying to lighten the mood, I joked that in fact I do have a secret admirer. My little cousin yelled out, "Is it your cat?" He was right, even though, come to think about it, I'm not sure my cat even likes me all that much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 168

Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said, "We're not ready for our table yet." Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend, who I've met several times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 095

You deserved it 68 120

Today, I told my mom that having watched my sister ruin her life having kids who grew into brats with criminal records before their teens, I refused to ruin my life the same way and will be childless. I then turned to leave and they were in the doorway, my sister and her two brats. I got slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 405