By Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Spicy
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 699
You deserved it 15 189

Same thing different taste

Top comments

austincain117 16

I guess having a ***** is a dildont ha get it? no... okay...

I, personally, would not touch someone else's *****

Comments

austincain117 16

I guess having a ***** is a dildont ha get it? no... okay...

If your comment had ended at "dildon't" you probably wouldn't be getting down voted. Nobody likes a try hard.

TahoeFMler 22

I laughed. And thumbed up, sorry that there are only a few of us cornballs!

T_Young96 13

Obviously she didn't get good vibrations about it. Get it? Get it? Oh cum on!!

If anyone was here when this was posted right away it had like 9 downvotes lol

kimeatszombies 22

People either hate the cheesy jokes, or find them strangely hilarious. I found it strangely hilarious, by the way.

Easy there, Abrocrombie. Maybe sit these next few plays out.

Octwo 16

It's not about not liking cheesy jokes, but ending an obviously bad joke with: "no? ok..." does not magically make it funny. It's annoying so many people think it does, especially when a few would have been genuinely amusing otherwise.

A comment so stupid,that it is hilarious.Well done.

johnrdz3 24

I, personally, would not touch someone else's *****

I agree and I wonder how old she is to have a ***** and live with her mother

Yeah, looks like somebody's been playing to much Saints Row.

#23 I wasn't aware there was a minimum age for owning a *****.

#23 it's not that uncommon for people to live with their parents well in to their 20's now given the state of the economy and housing market.

Metal_Chick 15

#23 I don't live with my mother but when she visits she starts going through my shit like she owns the place. Some parents are just plain nozy; so lets not jump to conclusions about OP.

#23. OP may not be a she. Gender isn't stated on this post.

Well if she's still a teenager, don't you think it's better to have a ***** rather than multiple sexual partners? Masturbation is the safest sex

So #22 at 15 years old are you living on your own already or do you feel you are too young to own a *****?

uhhhh daaaa how old do u hav to be to purchase any sex toy?

That's.. I'm not sure. I don't understand her anger, though, it's not like it's a bad thing.

Maybe she's very religious, Catholics especially don't allow sex or masturbation, it's a sin to them.

McNikk 15

@35: A sin to have sex? Like at all? How do you think they reproduce?

So, gays shouldn't be allowed to own ******? Is that what you're insinuating?

Pre-marital sex is a sin, once they get married it's ok.

It's not the mom's life so she shouldn't get to force religion down her kid's throat if that's the case. I'm Christian but can't stand that type who forces you to be.

catholics also view sex as only an act of procreation. it is not for fun, or to feel good.

#3, its a sin ********** or have sex outside of marriage for all Christians not just Catholics

Well then Catholics are really missing out.

my family claims to be catholic... and every single one has sex before marriage.... how do I know (all my aunts and uncles had kids before wedding).... they don't even go to church on sundays.... let alone read the bible.... all they do is abstain from eating meat on Fridays during lent... aaaaaaa what family right

Actual catholic here- I don't actually agree with most of the teachings on sex but just for other people's reference 1. Yes, Catholics do see sex before marriage or masturbation as a sin 2. Its true that Catholics think all sex should be aimed towards procreation-that's one of their reasons for seeing gay people as sinners- but technically sex is for three reasons- for enjoyment, to bond with your partner, AND for procreation- if all three aren't there, then it's a sin 3. Plenty of Catholics don't actually follow that shit it's just "official church doctrine" (I'm a gay catholic lol) but yes a traditional catholic would have a problem with their kid owning a ***** - although if said Catholic actually listened to the bible they would know that Christ preached nonviolence and hence they probably shouldn't hit their kid either...

Damn, I'm so glad I wasn't raised Catholic... I don't mean this in an offensive way, I just don't think I would've made it through my teenage years if I couldn't **********. Wouldn't you get the worst blue balls ever? How would you not just explode?

@55 Only if you're a religion fanatic and have been brainwashed with god fairytales since you were young that you have no option but to believe without question what you were taught.

It's a sin to them to do anything sexual related before marriage and to a lot of them it doesn't matter if there married or not masturbation is seen as dirty and not to be done

I find it ironic that 140 wants to criticize religion from an "intellectual" standpoint and in doing so either proved their lack of grammatical skills, low vocabulary, or both. - A *religious* but non-fanatical Christian not brainwashed with "God fairytales" (or any fairytales for that matter) from birth. But honestly this is a site for humor, can't we just keep the snide atheist comments and the bible-beater rhetoric off of here? Not complaining about the sincere attempts at education but anything else from the religion side takes it too far.

At least she beat you with your *****...

DedicatedNova 13

Unfortunate for the ***** as well. They aren't made to be beat.

They are made to take a pounding though.

#40 don't you mean they're made to give a pounding? ;)

Does she rather you have a real **** possibly giving you STD's or getting you pregnant? FYL OP, I kind of laughed when I read the FML though haha

Didn't expect that kind of beating from the *****, did you?

YDI for leaving it out in the open if your mom didn't know about it

Parents are capable of going through their child's belongings....

astralvagan 20

No where in the fml does it say she had it in the open...

so she deserved what could basically be defined as abuse?

it's not like she can see into the future

my parents have always said that if I'm not paying rent, it's their house, their room and they have every right to see what is in their house.... it pissed me off as a teenager, but now I understand and that will be the rule with my kids, no matter how old they are.

You completely took that from the first comment

It wasn't intentional. I don't read the comments. I just read the FML post then i post my own comment. Didn't realize it till you commented.