Animals: Today, my husband cleaned out our fireplace and found a very...

By BatWife - 29/03/2017 19:00 - United States - New London

Today, my husband cleaned out our fireplace and found a very dead, mummified bat. After chasing me around the house with it, he set it atop the mantle. He refuses to get rid of it, and calls it "Henry". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 920

You deserved it 625

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Same thing different taste

Batman

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 23:00

Today, at work, someone found a bat indoors. I offered my help. They shouted, "Let someone with the right expertise do it." I volunteer as a bat carer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 134

Jump scare

By Anonymous - 05/11/2021 11:01

Today, I saw a bat in a cabinet. I slammed the cabinet as hard as I could, which knocked the bat off the door and got its head stuck between the two doors, decapitating it. Its two beady eyes were judging me. I haven't even had my coffee yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 1 489

By BakedBat - 21/02/2014 04:10 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 004

You deserved it 4 442

By I_Has_A_Fishy - 10/07/2012 19:33 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 706

You deserved it 3 463

By ghoul - 08/03/2011 11:32

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 866

You deserved it 4 244

Get it out!

By TLM9312 - 07/06/2023 12:00 - Canada - Madoc

Today, I've been awake since 3 a.m. Why? A bat flew into the house and made its way to my bedroom. We haven't been able to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 95

If the shoe fits…

By Bruce - 17/08/2010 17:09 - United States

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 718

You deserved it 3 658

By Stewtato - 12/07/2019 22:30

Today, a bat flew into my house. We locked it in my brother's room, complete with cats, and just barely got it back outside alive. We later found out it was an endangered species, so we also narrowly avoided arrest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 433

You deserved it 535

A job well done.

By belly the jelly - 30/10/2017 21:00

Today, I asked my husband to deal with the very large spider in our kitchen. Rather than a newspaper or a slipper, he went after it with an aerosol can and a lighter. The spider is now dead, but so are the wall and cupboards in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 591

You deserved it 701

By Anonymous - 24/08/2012 21:10 - United Kingdom - Walsall

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 238

You deserved it 3 878

Shelly_G 2

Thursday 30 March 2017 2:38

You might be able to sell it... there's a lot of people who are interested in owning something like that.

jbuckets_404 38

Wednesday 29 March 2017 7:13

So you mean that you can't get rid of it while your husband's gone???

Comments

ElizaWy 25

Thursday 30 March 2017 7:02

On the other hand... look on the bright side. Your husband was cleaning!

naturegrl 9

Thursday 30 March 2017 16:02

We found one of those at my family's cabin. We keep it on display in the window-sill. I think it's cool!

Fucc_Logic_4evah 13

Thursday 30 March 2017 19:17

Henry is part of the family now. As batty as it seems, get used to it. People who are so intolerant of new, esteemed pets drive me batshit.

NisaSayshi 24

Thursday 30 March 2017 23:19

i like your husband

thatslifeiguess7 16

Friday 31 March 2017 4:06

so did you get rid of it?

DanielleinDC 33

Friday 31 March 2017 15:05

There's nothing stopping you from getting rid of it the next time he's away from home, is there?

tamesenicole 27

Sunday 2 April 2017 0:42

Ew like the first jeepers creepers movie at the end

sutima 23

Tuesday 4 April 2017 13:57

Awesome.

Squeepy 19

Wednesday 5 April 2017 4:48

When I was a kid, my brother and I found a baby fruit bat and named him Freddy. Luckily, Freddy was still quite alive, and about 10 notches below Henry on the creepy scale.