Love: Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked... - FML

By bootyislife - 03/02/2015 04:36 - United States - Seattle

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 295

You deserved it 4 994

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Same thing different taste

By spitty - 14/04/2015 21:50 - United States - Willoughby

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 533

You deserved it 2 191

By WorstMedicalBill - 20/11/2009 14:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 205

You deserved it 21 882

You coming?

By snotface - 23/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 826

You deserved it 8 872

By Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 170

You deserved it 6 262

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 469

You deserved it 785

That'll do it

By Zippyzoo - 03/02/2009 22:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 365

You deserved it 9 141

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 598

You deserved it 1 636

We all do it. Don't we?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2010 07:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 084

You deserved it 13 771

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 942

You deserved it 4 509

The sensual world

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 21:51 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 483

You deserved it 18 136

Next

Top comments

Devindelon 17

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:50

So, I'm guessing there was no need for oil.

icedexplosion 19

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:48

Was it sexy?

Comments

icepick23 12

Thursday 5 February 2015 16:40

Don't be a baby--she is likely much more embarrassed than you are & deserves a guy who wouldn't out her publicly. Just saying...

peter_young01 8

Friday 6 February 2015 5:25

Man that sucks

dansco 24

Friday 6 February 2015 6:06

Some people pay good money for that lol

FatherofTime87 18

Friday 6 February 2015 9:02

That's adorable

CandyApple88 13

Saturday 7 February 2015 3:22

Well put it this way, at least now you know she's into "water sports"

tooflyasianguy 3

Sunday 8 February 2015 19:45

is she r Kelly?

Goofy79r_fml 3

Monday 9 February 2015 5:16

lmao

xKRIEG_SCHWEINx 11

Wednesday 11 February 2015 0:54

kinky ᕦ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕤ

doglady 16

Wednesday 18 February 2015 5:04

Well, if you're into golden showers...

I8mykake 8

Sunday 22 February 2015 14:17

That really made me laugh out loud

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Today, I spent £107 filling wife's car up with fuel. When I get home she says "don't forget we have to fill my car up at Tesco at the weekend". "I've already done it at Asda earlier" I say. "You stupid dumb idiot" she says, "I wanted it filled up at Tesco so I could get Clubcard points". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 245

Today, due to a change in our internal system, I set up an email filter at work that sent all incoming messages to spam. My boss had been sending me urgent updates all day, and I only realized when she came over and asked why I’d “gone radio silent.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 401

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 45 030

Today, my brother is getting married to my crush of 7 years. To make that even worse, they're moving in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 603

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 558

You deserved it 53 301

Today, a friend moved into my new house. He was a great roommate years ago, but COVID seems to have driven him mad. He brought a huge stockpile of non-perishable food, and keeps talking about "fortifying" the house. He's trying to build a composting outhouse right now. Send help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 235