Miscellaneous: Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he...

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 547

You deserved it 2 908

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Same thing different taste

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 255

You deserved it 4 195

You what?

By unknown - 02/11/2013 21:10 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 596

You deserved it 6 920

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 172

You deserved it 3 215

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 246

You deserved it 5 880

The birds and the bees

By Anonymous - 04/08/2022 18:00

Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 330

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 839

You deserved it 37 565

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 729

You deserved it 5 212

Scarred for life

By Aly - 09/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 208

You deserved it 5 871

By tobuscus9412 - 22/03/2015 01:04 - Australia - Woronora

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 179

You deserved it 3 343

By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 703

You deserved it 3 347

Valentina_Baby 7

Thursday 15 March 2012 5:02

Troll mom strikes again!

badwolfbluebox 7

Thursday 15 March 2012 5:03

Firstly though, your mother called you 'that' ?

Comments

steelx3 4

Thursday 15 March 2012 11:03

"I think I got those genes from you, mom." L:

Meme1988 18

Thursday 15 March 2012 12:07

Maybe she is over protictive and this is her way of showing it.

Larion1 13

Thursday 15 March 2012 12:25

it will be easier for you to have a night at friend's house

mikeawesome 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 12:26

Immediate response would have been well if you got some then anybody can

rubberduckie94 13

Thursday 15 March 2012 13:03

As hurtful as it was I think mom did not mean it. You must remember you are her child and she is probably having trouble accepting that you are at this stage of life. I think this was an ill fated attempt by her at humor. I am sure your are a cutie.

SoultheWolf 19

Thursday 15 March 2012 13:24

I may not know you or this situation, but the fact that you were getting the sex talk means you're probably around 13-14. A young man at that age rarely showers, has a horribly messy room, and usually stinks horribly, if that's the case then YDI. If its not and you unfortuantely aren't as attractive as other people then FYL. I would've told my mom, "You do know that they say that sons look more like their mothers then fathers" as a payback though.