Love: Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss,...

By doesn't fuck on the first, thank god - 23/03/2014 20:25 - United Kingdom - Southend-on-sea

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 555

You deserved it 4 566

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Same thing different taste

By SisterOfTard - 10/11/2014 16:31 - United States - Florence

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 449

You deserved it 4 711

Some guys have all the luck

By Anonymous - 26/08/2020 05:03 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today my brother tried to teach me the merits of stalking women on Facebook, gave me a tutorial on how to use improper grammar and spelling to woo them and finally, "using misinformation to start a conversation." He's getting married soon. The last time I kissed a woman was 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 245

Gotcha!

By Anonymous - 02/07/2016 13:39 - United States - Revere

Today, my brother set me up on a blind date. I've been single for years and he said she was a perfect match for me, so I was excited. Turned out the fucker was playing a prank. The girl was my sister, who was just as surprised as I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 488

You deserved it 1 121

Let's not do this again

By Krissy - 12/10/2024 14:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 88

By Lonely Gay - 22/02/2012 09:37 - United States

Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 534

You deserved it 5 402

Quel abruti

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 06:00

Today, I was on a date in a fancy restaurant. I tried to show off my skills by ordering our meal in French, since some of the dishes had french-sounding names. The waiter replied in fluent French and I have no idea what he said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 1 249

By Flip - 02/05/2012 05:06 - France

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 818

You deserved it 58 562

Breakout

By liisiuu - 13/07/2017 05:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 041

You deserved it 901

Interruption

By Freddie06 - 18/10/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a first date, and it was going surprisingly well. As we were saying goodbye, I leaned in for a kiss. Just as our lips were about to meet, a car full of teenagers drove by and one of them yelled, "TONGUE SANDWICH." My date burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 158

Tonight, on 'First Dates'…

By Anonymous - 17/04/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 137

savannah65 19

Monday 24 March 2014 1:39

Ew wtf

ChelzTheWolfGirl 29

Monday 24 March 2014 1:40

Why did your brother want YOU to teach him how to French kiss? Because unless I'm reading into this wrong... It sounds like he wanted to practice with you.

Comments

mstoock 12

Monday 24 March 2014 10:09

Um gross...

emydoll 14

Monday 24 March 2014 10:48

I don't even know where to begin.., this is ****** up on sooo many levels!!

bobslawnservice 16

Monday 24 March 2014 13:47

Sounds like the little creep has been watching too much incest **** and is guaging your interest. I'd lock the door when you shower or get dressed.

iffy 20

Monday 24 March 2014 13:54

Take one for the team

Vlen_fml 20

Monday 24 March 2014 15:26

must've seen We're the Millers

kittie77 10

Monday 24 March 2014 17:51

Just no..

MasterGamer591 13

Monday 24 March 2014 18:06

I don't know if he meant for you to give him tips or if he wanted you to do it in him. Need more evidence to deduct this situation but it looks like he wanted you to do it on him.

iwashere526 5

Monday 24 March 2014 20:47

Ew!

freshprizzle1 13

Monday 24 March 2014 21:31

Not that this would make the situation any better but is he your adopted brother or purely biological? If you aren't blood related his logic may be understandable, otherwise shower with the doors locked from now on.