Miscellaneous: Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke,...

Agree with #12 And lawl @ #35. I wish the kitten would have clawed our balls OFF. No need for you to reproduce. The human race is stupid as it is. Unless you raise your kids to be against animal cruelty, and stupidity.

roundkickkid 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 21:20

Kitten karma!!!

love_jd13 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 21:24

A big pussy got owned by a little pussy. Moral of the story: Don't mess with kittens! :)

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Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

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Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 213

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Today, I was on the way to traffic court for a $340 speeding ticket I'd got. My mother called me and I wasn't paying attention which caused me to speed. Right past a cop. When I told the cop where I was going, he started laughing at me. I now have another $300 ticket. FML

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Today, after going to the ophthalmologist, I got some really cute glasses. When I got home, my dad saw them and told me that when he was in high school, they called girls with those glasses BC. When I asked what BC stood for, he said, "Birth control." FML

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Today, after 22 years, I finally got promoted to senior tech. My wife bitched about the reheated lasagna and I drank a fifth of whiskey. A celebration dinner to remember FML

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Today, I was in a Zoom meeting. I usually have tape over my camera and pretend it's busted so I don't have to perform like a circus monkey, but I forgot that I'd removed it to chat with my cousin last night. I was halfway through eating a mango when my boss paused mid-speech and said, “Is now really the best time for that?” The meeting went silent. FML

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