Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells...

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 849

You deserved it 10 204

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Same thing different taste

Size Queen

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 05:00

Today, I was hooking up with a girl, but when she got my pants down, she got mad and left, saying she was gonna kill her sister who lied to her about me having a large penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 207

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 708

You deserved it 60 224

By FuckThis - 31/08/2015 13:16 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 377

You deserved it 2 547

Not my turn

By Perry85 - 10/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 294

You deserved it 1 030

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 894

You deserved it 13 063

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 824

You deserved it 10 572

Sometimes, they just do

By Anonymous - 16/03/2025 03:00 - Netherlands

Today, my girlfriend told me she was leaving me for another man. Devastated, I asked what he had that I didn't. Apparently, "a big penis and a stable job" mean more to her than two years of love and dedication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 554

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 220

You deserved it 322

Routine

By youaresodumb - 27/09/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 463

You deserved it 34 382

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 957

You deserved it 649

Diabeetus 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 7:51

Perfect reply for these situations. "It varies in size depending on how hot the girl is."

captcool024 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 8:45

haha.. stupid bitch.. hot dog down a hallway at this point.. dont worry bro she says it to everybody, because her boyfriend is a giant *****.

Comments

vsk8p1mp720 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 23:13

be like **** my weeny kills girls like you evry day

sevlen 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 5:33

owch that musta hurt Bl

Kockdiesel 0

Monday 1 February 2010 3:29

look on the bright side, you were having sex with a girl.

what_the_fail 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 2:37

Not an FML. You're getting laid.

sidvoltaire 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 9:52

you shouldve told her to lose weight, and her **** were saggy. that'd learn er

cutiepie2408 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 0:47

what the heck why would she say that

DarkPrince_fml 0

Friday 2 April 2010 17:29

El Oh El

akwatup 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 22:07

fyl.what a ****

akwatup 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 22:08

fyl.what a ****

coderedz 0

Thursday 8 April 2010 19:17

or use the line from liar liar "I've had better"

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 355

You deserved it 41 644

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 653

You deserved it 32 083

Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 608

You deserved it 34 659

Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 204

Today, I was playing competitively for my clan in a tournament. Money is involved, and I was doing quite well until my girlfriend up and turned the PS4 off because I wasn't "paying enough attention" to her, despite being on a holiday with her for the previous 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 512

You deserved it 944

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352