Kids: Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator...

By 3722145 - 31/01/2015 00:51 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 455

You deserved it 6 890

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 16:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 237

You deserved it 7 760

By imamomma - 20/12/2011 18:59 - United States

Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 212

You deserved it 26 892

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:41 - United Kingdom - Oundle

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 376

You deserved it 3 643

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 20:36 - Jordan - Amman

Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 218

You deserved it 5 391

By Anonymous - 10/12/2010 07:17 - United States

Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 473

You deserved it 8 940

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 18:30 - United States - Smyrna

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 632

You deserved it 4 571

By Nick - 29/06/2012 21:39 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 266

You deserved it 6 720

By thebeachisthatway - 22/10/2012 18:56 - United States - Worcester

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 236

You deserved it 5 271

By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 14:34 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 674

You deserved it 7 551

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 504

You deserved it 30 111

marcmaralou 15

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:13

once you get older, scientific and graphing calculators don't allow you to do this :(

colton_colton 49

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:13

He's the future of this world

Comments

XBurytheCastleX 25

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:10

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marcmaralou 15

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:13

once you get older, scientific and graphing calculators don't allow you to do this :(

marcmaralou 15

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:17

actually, I take that back, you can literally type boobies on a graphing calculator

derp_taco 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:22

Yay

DraconicFeline 31

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:48

Yeah, but where's the fun in that?

lkreykes 14

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:34

yeah upside down boobies are the best

TigranPetrosian 8

Tuesday 3 February 2015 5:43

you can use hexadecimal

AzrielB 8

Thursday 23 February 2017 13:53

Most graphing calculators have a letter mode which allows you to write whatever your heart desires. OP should just get their son a Ti-83

colton_colton 49

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:13

He's the future of this world

HyunnK 18

Sunday 1 February 2015 2:32

Making it possible to spell **** on a calculator upside down.

anonpbc 20

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:15

next generation genius

Driving_Gaming 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:16

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toaster87 19

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:16

Question is how old is he...?

TrustStolen 16

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:19

why would you show him to spell it in the first place

Joestarry 8

Sunday 1 February 2015 16:49

Because he's a good father

tzemmy 25

Sunday 1 February 2015 20:00

#39 what the **** is your profile picture??

tykatdesigns 13

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:24

Well honey you started it

HeWillBeLoved105 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:31

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lolcat97 28

Sunday 1 February 2015 1:24

OP wasn't serious, parents say things like that. Mine said they would sell me online or return me to the hospital, I laughed at that. I didn't find it offensive.

SMHsohard 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 1:46

Hell, I've been telling my daughter for years that the only reason I had her was to fetch and carry for me. Parents say shit like this all the time. I'm kidding, she knows I'm kidding, it's a family joke. Nothing to get butt hurt over.