Intimacy: Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

By pops up - 01/12/2011 22:25 - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 400

You deserved it 10 658

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Same thing different taste

By hotmommy - 20/12/2010 00:23

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 272

You deserved it 6 643

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 291

You deserved it 5 631

By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 044

You deserved it 6 158

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 080

You deserved it 4 411

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 921

You deserved it 2 548

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 639

You deserved it 4 352

By HOe HOe HOe - 02/11/2011 02:36 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 106

You deserved it 16 279

By lonewolf2701 - 22/11/2009 09:15 - United States

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 585

You deserved it 4 284

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 943

You deserved it 2 826

By unknown - 17/12/2012 11:37 - Canada

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 527

You deserved it 6 890

phatdaddy62 23

Friday 2 December 2011 9:11

Welcome to the "North Pole!"

koala7_fml 2

Friday 2 December 2011 9:07

Merry Christmas!

Comments

aPieceOfFruit 16

Friday 2 December 2011 23:31

you can't blame Santa, he is just looking for revenge. Mrs. Claus had an affair with the Easter Bunny.

hateevryone 14

Friday 2 December 2011 23:32

how old are you sweetie? cause you'd have to be old enough for him to get an erection.

kileypalmer 0

Friday 2 December 2011 23:37

Looks like things like to pop up in your life...

Spamonkey 2

Friday 2 December 2011 23:58

If you have an fml account you're probably a little old to be sitting on Santa's lap anyway...

tj4234 35

Friday 2 December 2011 23:59

this sounds like the start of a really weird **** movie...

minty1807 9

Saturday 3 December 2011 0:07

If you're old enough to use fml and understand erections... Then you probably shouldn't still be sitting on santas lap, just saying :p

Sammie246 5

Saturday 3 December 2011 0:44

Classic.

youal12345 1

Saturday 3 December 2011 1:18

I wonder if there is going to be another fml today saying this girl sat on my lap while I was Santa at the mall and I got an erection fml

picturescrazy 24

Saturday 3 December 2011 1:47

I sincerely hope this Santa fellow didn't have this incident with a younger child...

baseballgirl2100 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 1:51

fun fun santa sure does want to have a merry christmas too! :)

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Same thing different taste

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