Miscellaneous: Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant...

By Eric - 27/02/2012 21:58 - United States

Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 327

You deserved it 24 626

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By a non e mouse - 10/11/2015 22:34 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 955

You deserved it 8 182

Lost and found

By Lauren - 19/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I was in a rush to meet some friends for brunch, and I arrived first. The restaurant door was locked, so I knocked. A waiter opened the door and stared at me with confusion before saying, “This isn’t the entrance, ma’am.” It wasn’t until I walked around the corner and saw the correct door that I realized I had been standing at the employee entrance the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 438

By Tired Hungry Geek - 27/10/2015 04:40 - United States

Today, I was exhausted after a long day at work and didn't feel like cooking so I went to a drive thru. I placed my order, went to the window and paid. I then drove off without my food and didn't realize it for a couple of blocks. I was too embarrassed to go back and get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 689

You deserved it 10 343

I'm OK, I swear

By Anonymous - 18/09/2025 00:00

Today, I ordered fries at a drive-thru, then drove away without paying. Realizing my mistake, I panicked and circled back, only to drive past the window again. The worker just stared at me as if I was pulling off the slowest robbery in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 320

Mix up

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 08:01

Today, I ordered DoorDash to my home. I sat outside waiting for it, starving, when my husband came out, laughing at me. The DoorDasher had called, I'd accidently sent it to my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 816

Fun vacation times

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I needed to relax, so I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished, I went to put the tray outside, not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room, wearing smiley face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 474

You deserved it 27 388

By phonebaby - 18/11/2014 01:04 - United States - Stamford

Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a Chinese restaurant, only to get nervous, and hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 601

You deserved it 7 663

Classic mistake

By 暂不提供 - 02/08/2025 21:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 103

By killmenow - 23/04/2014 14:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 842

You deserved it 14 423

By Addigirl - 25/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I ordered pick-up from a restaurant I really like. It was pouring, so instead of taking the long way across the pedestrian walk, I ran through a grass-covered area and tripped on tree roots. I was right in front of the restaurant, so everybody saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 581

You deserved it 1 458

ElainaCutsYou 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:05

Sum Ting Wong?

gonad_gobbler 1

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:09

wow, everyone in the restaurant must adoor you now.

Comments

biggie95_fml 4

Tuesday 28 February 2012 5:15

Wai yu so dum!

Ozone1232 5

Tuesday 28 February 2012 5:16

Meth is one hell of a drug.

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 28 February 2012 5:54

you must've been tired?

XxUNBROKENxX 7

Tuesday 28 February 2012 5:54

It's for the fear of this happening to me that I prefer delivery.

JustChillinXD 6

Tuesday 28 February 2012 6:04

Oh good job! I have moments like that too! XD

musicluvr2000 11

Tuesday 28 February 2012 6:37

You made their day good job

A_dreamer_22 3

Tuesday 28 February 2012 6:38

it's ok u just had "one of those days" at least years from now it will b a great story to tell d grandkids lol ^_^

XxWolf96xX 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 7:00

I've never done it, but I could see myself do it. :D

Davick 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 7:31

talk about wrong places wrong time

SingingOtter 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 8:20

Sounds like you need some sleep :)

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 266

You deserved it 46 049

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 996

You deserved it 8 447

Today, a customer's credit card was declined. His totally reasonable reaction was to threaten to put a bullet in the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 895

You deserved it 1 306

Here's the first FML Video created by Louis, who will creating many more in the weeks (months, years...) to come!

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 103

Today, my cat was being surprisingly loving towards me. Normally she ignores me so I obviously found this rather odd. She kept meowing so I assumed she was hungry. As I was getting up to feed her, she stood up and pooped all over me, my bed and phone, then turned away and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 775

You deserved it 2 482

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 917

You deserved it 3 419