Intimacy: Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated... - FML

By kinky - 05/08/2010 00:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 677

You deserved it 38 020

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Same thing different taste

You wanker!

By Nik - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 525

You deserved it 4 577

Get some rest

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 18:01

Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 140

By unlucky - 29/03/2014 23:06 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 808

You deserved it 3 401

By metalmeow - 17/06/2019 05:00

Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 219

Unimpressed

By kylie - 02/04/2021 17:01

Today, my doctor told me that I have severely and permanently injured my shoulder. Last week, I attempted to lift more weight than I normally do in an effort to impress my boyfriend. He was not impressed. In fact he said that most kids can lift more than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 974

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 20:55 - United States - College Place

Spicy

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 022

You deserved it 27 460

By one_BAMF - 25/07/2010 05:06 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 389

You deserved it 42 204

Overdoing it a bit

By Anonymous - 12/11/2022 16:00

Spicy

Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 1 206

Painful romance

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 10:00

Spicy

Today, while my spouse and I were 'doing the do' we went to change positions… but instead we changed the location of their shoulder joint. Fully dislocated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 207

Ready for anything

By too eager - 25/04/2016 15:21 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, I had a date with an amazing girl so in the shower I wanted to make sure I was extra clean. With the soaped up shower puff in hand I tried to get as much of my back as I could which led to me pushing too far and dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 001

You deserved it 2 991

Next

Top comments

turtlemansam 6

Thursday 5 August 2010 9:11

Can't you just make up an excuse ?

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 5 August 2010 9:15

How the **** do you ********** intensely enough to dislocate your shoulder?

Comments

linebacker42 0

Friday 6 August 2010 3:11

dude how did you not rip your dick off?? take it easy or you might, lol

Thoko_fml 0

Friday 6 August 2010 3:14

YDI for masturbating

babyqeelove 0

Friday 6 August 2010 3:25

lmaoo! wtf? your desperatee!

jonny2x4 0

Friday 6 August 2010 3:41

If you're going to whack off that hard, I'm surprised you haven't dislocated your wiener. Then try explaining THAT to your doctor.

Speechless1 0

Friday 6 August 2010 3:46

Akward.... O.o

this_is_my_usern_fml 0

Friday 6 August 2010 3:46

maybe its a girl...

MyLifeIsGreat_ha 0

Friday 6 August 2010 4:43

geeezZ! just get a hooker like everYoNE elSe!!!???

D34DM4ND4N 2

Friday 6 August 2010 5:04

Not if he was double Dutch rudderingg!!

girl14 0

Friday 6 August 2010 5:22

I want to see the look on his parents and doctors face. lol ok random point I really wanted to say - could you imagine being in the same room when the telephone was FIRST invented and seeing theor faces? hello?- HOLLY SHIT IT WORKS!!! O MY GOD I CAN HEAR YOU THROUGH A MAGIC BOX!!!!!

nickerbockers3 0

Friday 6 August 2010 5:30

Dude don't worry about it, totally happens to me all the time.

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Today, I got roped into a volunteering thing at the last minute. I was waiting outside with all these kids who looked hungry. Feeling bad, I passed around crisps and cookies. Turns out we were at a convention to promote healthy eating in malnourished children. FML

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You deserved it 6 137

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I agree, your life sucks 13 205

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You deserved it 6 053

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I agree, your life sucks 48 902

You deserved it 9 994

Today, I learned not to jump off a stage if nobody is going to catch you. FML

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You deserved it 38 301