Kids: Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten...

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 344

You deserved it 9 438

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 432

You deserved it 40 026

Just a prank, again

By momaaa1342 - 21/10/2013 03:51 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 748

You deserved it 3 610

True

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 16:09

Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 073

You deserved it 257

By Grant - 11/01/2013 00:51 - United States

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 781

You deserved it 3 113

By Gumfanatic302 - 07/05/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 159

You deserved it 3 192

By Jess - 30/05/2009 12:48 - United States

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 372

You deserved it 71 907

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 26/04/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 526

Teach what you know

By E…… - 24/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 775

By Anonymous - 16/01/2014 17:57 - United States - Springfield

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 147

You deserved it 13 080

By pda - 25/08/2013 02:46 - United States - Short Hills

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 188

You deserved it 4 704

The_Thinker 18

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:09

Does your daughter happen to overhear you and your partner's late night escapades, by any chance?

supbabes 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:11

Well at least her impersonation of "grown-ups" is spot on!

Comments

redmnky21 8

Thursday 21 June 2012 18:54

um... that's a sign your daughter may be being sexually abused

dohboi 2

Thursday 21 June 2012 19:00

I thought it was other person :)

tinkdatank 15

Thursday 21 June 2012 19:43

Haha, damn that's funny

MD5385457 2

Thursday 21 June 2012 20:05

Kids mimic what they see and I'd be embarrassed to post this. It's ridiculous, not funny. That's what's wrong with most children these days. Lack of parents.

meintx 9

Thursday 21 June 2012 20:34

Another two words: Stripper Pole. ;-/

Raath00 7

Thursday 21 June 2012 20:35

Maybe in 18 years she'll grow up to be the next big **** star. Pro parenting OP

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Thursday 21 June 2012 20:22

This made me think about all the stuff that I did when I was a little kid that seems perverse to me now. There was this huge ass green ball. I remember, my guy friend used to sit on it and bounce and I'd sit on his lap and bounce on top of him. *shudder*