Work: Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's...

By Lunazel93 - 22/10/2012 04:07 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 472

You deserved it 1 922

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Same thing different taste

By StickyWicket - 14/05/2019 18:00

Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 088

You deserved it 137

By spitty - 14/04/2015 21:50 - United States - Willoughby

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 533

You deserved it 2 191

Enjoy what you enjoy

By Anonymous - 03/07/2025 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 591

By Anonymous - 10/10/2013 05:25 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 461

You deserved it 3 226

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 12:08 - Australia

Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 204

You deserved it 7 777

Fully relaxed

By Anonymous - 19/01/2025 20:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was getting a full-body massage at a spa when the masseuse dropped hot stones directly on my stomach. As I jumped up in shock and slight pain, the oils and towels all fell off me, leaving me completely naked in front of the spa receptionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 133

By RockedSystem - 22/04/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 505

You deserved it 5 906

WTF?

By Shane - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 242

You deserved it 32 650

Treat Yourself Day (derogatory)

By mindy - 24/12/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to be treating myself to a relaxing spa day, thinking it would be a great way to unwind. That was until the massage therapist somehow gave me a "reverse" massage that left me sore in places I didn’t know could get sore. I paid for this torture, and now I can’t even walk properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 114

Threesome

By Tylerdirdin84 - 28/07/2019 20:00

Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 166

mandyk5918 12

Monday 22 October 2012 12:01

That's sooo gross!!!!

TayrawrTMD 7

Monday 22 October 2012 12:01

Sounds like a shit job

Comments

petra84 3

Thursday 25 October 2012 8:32

Reminds me of when a baby's diaper blows out and poop goes everywhere...but a grown guy? What is the matter with this dude?

a_marshall_13 7

Thursday 25 October 2012 21:35

If someone knew your name you could be reported for professional misconduct!!!!!!! you should NEVER post ANYTHING online about a client..

Michelley44 5

Thursday 25 October 2012 23:07

Good thing this is a unanimous site where people can vent without other people knowing, huh a_marshall_13.. how about you un-clench.

Special_Psycho 8

Saturday 27 October 2012 15:16

I'd use a bottle of hand sanitizer after that if I were you. ~_~

Blurry_1 0

Sunday 28 October 2012 0:47

Uh, no.

fatou_fml 7

Sunday 28 October 2012 2:04

Hope you didn't do that again !!

Ashybebe 2

Monday 29 October 2012 6:16

I would have just told him it's too unsanitary and that I wasn't going to risk disease and he could deal with that or get out

Quimpo 14

Thursday 1 November 2012 8:57

That just sucks lol

DusktheKat 12

Saturday 27 July 2013 4:45

So...you could say... he needed a massage because he was.... HAVING A SHITTY DAY! Yeeeeeaaaaaaah!

grumpy94533 11

Wednesday 13 November 2013 11:58

Noooooo!!! :( ewe

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Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 956

You deserved it 24 436

Today, I was assigned to work on a group project with some coworkers. The entire time, one guy insisted on "taking charge" and assigning everyone tasks. He gave me a single task: “Create a 15-slide presentation.” I completed it in less than an hour. He then decided we needed a 100-slide presentation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 78

Today, I begged the people at my new job not to call my current boss for a reference because he is a vindictive dog shite. They called him for a reference, he tanked me, they believed him and withdrew my job offer. My boss also sacked me for disloyalty, thus proving he’s a vindictive dog shite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 98

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 168

You deserved it 3 946

Today, I met my Bumble date. I was so excited because it’s my first date in 6 years. We exchanged hellos and he said he needed to use the restroom. Turns out he left. When I messaged him to ask what happened, he told me, “I agreed to go on a date with the hot girl in the photos, not a contestant from 'My 600lb Life'.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 865

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, then said, "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but… nevermind", shook his head and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 391

You deserved it 26 631