Miscellaneous: Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father,...

By Anonymous - 19/09/2010 01:57 - United States

Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 597

You deserved it 36 437

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By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 591

You deserved it 4 285

I'm not sad. Or am I?

By Dr Pepper - 22/05/2019 18:05

Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 1 729

By Anonymous - 23/08/2012 16:14 - United States - Clarksburg

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 779

You deserved it 1 958

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 289

You deserved it 79 749

By spoiled22 - 12/10/2011 07:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to change the batteries of my automatic room freshener. As I held it to my face to figure out where the batteries went, it started spraying on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 875

You deserved it 28 223

Chill out

By IndianAngel96 - 29/10/2012 22:39 - United States - Houston

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 17 443

By inalotofpain - 16/04/2011 12:46 - United States

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 493

You deserved it 3 922

By Username - 09/02/2011 03:27

Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 420

You deserved it 3 131

Blinded

By alycion - 04/05/2019 12:00

Today, I took my father to a hockey game. He always has to get pictures with the girls, so while in bag check, he used his breath spray. He got me in the eye, and I was temporarily blinded through most of the first period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 159

By Anonymous - 22/08/2014 18:41 - United States - Doylestown

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 127

You deserved it 43 005

cmc9540 4

Sunday 19 September 2010 10:05

what do you mean you didn't recognize it. it was in YOUR purse which would mean YOU put it in there which means YOU should know what it is. I don't understand how you didn't recognize it.

lionandthelamb61 9

Sunday 19 September 2010 9:07

idiot. how would you no know that wa in there?

Comments

persephone13 0

Sunday 19 September 2010 17:02

Having a purse myself, I know they can turn into black holes, lol...but how do you NOT recognize "the cute cylinder" in your OWN bag??? YDI for having no earthly idea what you put in your own purse.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Sunday 19 September 2010 19:20

Please see #94, under #2.

cryssycakesx3 22

Saturday 5 July 2014 14:16

ugh. Jane. I wish you would stop saying that. she was not using the flashlight to look for her lipstick. she was looking for the lipstick, and *did not* recognize it, and *thought* it was a flashlight. stop trying to be high and mighty, thinking you know everything. it just takes a little reading comprehension.