Miscellaneous: Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am... - FML

By single now - 26/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 426

You deserved it 4 332

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Tomaino - 18/08/2019 04:02

Today, my best friend got drunk and told me he's only friends with me because no one else will be friends with him. He then went on to tell me that he wasn't actually that drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 718

You deserved it 156

By rachaaaaeul - 06/08/2010 07:07 - United States

Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 089

You deserved it 4 025

Boring

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 14:58 - Canada

Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 467

You deserved it 7 618

Chuds out on the town

By GeeThanks - 25/07/2013 02:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 588

You deserved it 3 999

By Inconnu - 18/06/2011 05:13 - France

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 613

You deserved it 3 869

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 06:20 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 506

You deserved it 6 267

The hangover from hell

By jeannie - 20/09/2023 14:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, slightly drunk from a head-frazzle of a night out from hell, I sent a text meant for my friend recounting the terrible date I'd just been on… to the date himself. He replied with, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 924

By gayvsgay - 06/03/2016 15:31 - Germany - V?lklingen

Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 842

You deserved it 1 832

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 406

You deserved it 4 334

Here for you

By indefiniteforest - 10/09/2016 04:11 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, my best friend texted me and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. Trying to be supportive, I sent a long message about how he never deserved her and that I was there for her if she needed someone to vent to. She replied, "Are you high?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 061

You deserved it 1 151

Next

Top comments

jonr93 0

Friday 26 February 2010 12:00

That....... is an issue.

lettertjes 0

Friday 26 February 2010 12:07

That sucks, but I love how you phrased it.

Comments

theeBeezWaXx 0

Friday 26 February 2010 19:51

dayuuuuuuum! that suckss elephant ballss. i feel really bad for you.

skudgobang 1

Friday 26 February 2010 20:05

does your butt hole hurt?

nFc573 0

Friday 26 February 2010 21:44

it didnt happen because y'all was drunk, it happen cause y'all wanted it to

shamRawer 0

Friday 26 February 2010 21:53

hot…lol

wordgirl 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 1:27

Wow. I never thought it was gay. I read it like the friend got to the girlfriend. Funny either way. F the OP's L for real though. Oh, and your butt should hurt either way because either way, you got screwed. :p

tman9497 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 3:08

Lol what

RuralNinja 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 8:45

YDI for losing all inhibitions while drunk and engaging in gay sex. OR YDI for dating a *****.

VampiresFTW 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 10:38

Wrong number, maybe?

gisii1988 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 11:38

lmao!! yea wrong number!!!!!!!!!!! not!!!!! he said it was his bf...

cdunning 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 17:37

missing half the story much?

2
3
4
5
6
7

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 036

You deserved it 10 233

Today, my Mom was gushing to a relative about going to see a very famous singer with my sister while we were at dinner. I smiled politely, until the relative asked why I wasn’t going. I felt too embarrassed to admit I hadn’t been asked, despite having the money, so I awkwardly made something up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 178

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 631

You deserved it 4 455

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 729

You deserved it 41 634

Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 999

You deserved it 9 600

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 360

You deserved it 49 741