Intimacy and Health: Today, I thought it would be a good idea to jump out from behind...

By Anonymous - 06/05/2018 06:00

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to jump out from behind the bedroom door to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. I slipped and broke two ribs when I hit the ground. Instead of a sexy birthday evening, he got to take me to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 515

You deserved it 1 450

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Same thing different taste

By epicfail - 28/05/2011 06:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to sneak out. As I was climbing out of my 3rd floor window, he got a text and moved the ladder. Now I'm in the hospital with two broken ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 613

You deserved it 37 446

Cool move, dude

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 09:47 - France

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 690

You deserved it 4 272

That escalated quickly

By marrying this man - 10/10/2023 07:30

Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 298

Skittish

By Anonymous - 17/09/2024 22:00 - Germany

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 505

By sandysmith - 18/02/2012 15:49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 617

You deserved it 34 089

By Arielle - 31/01/2012 11:07 - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 627

You deserved it 4 407

Compromising position

By Hjeimoe - 09/03/2022 12:00

Today, I’m in the hospital with a broken leg and a bruised left backside, because my boyfriend’s wife came home earlier than expected from work and my only escape was from the second story window. Turns out, plastic trash cans are not very cushion-y. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 4 565

By Yes - 24/11/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 484

You deserved it 3 385

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 012

You deserved it 4 481

By tessisue - 04/01/2016 11:18 - Germany

Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut in his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 893

You deserved it 2 229

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 6 May 2018 6:35

There are sexy nurses to look at at the hospital, so it wasn’t a total loss for your boyfriend.

TheUnforgiven 8

Sunday 6 May 2018 6:55

You gave him a great story to tell. That's a good gift :D

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 6 May 2018 6:35

There are sexy nurses to look at at the hospital, so it wasn’t a total loss for your boyfriend.

TheUnforgiven 8

Sunday 6 May 2018 6:55

You gave him a great story to tell. That's a good gift :D

XxXBadAshXxX 27

Sunday 6 May 2018 7:55

That clutz life though

Lobby_Bee 17

Sunday 6 May 2018 12:04

At least it wasn't an ordinary evening.

MannyWasHere 12

Sunday 6 May 2018 12:18

Just get it on in the hospital #BestBirthdayEver

ARISKomuniszt 24

Sunday 6 May 2018 13:59

I'm sure he'll be happy with your efforts and intentions nonetheless...

Mungolikecandy 19

Sunday 6 May 2018 15:52

The twist in the tale; they are 27 years old!

julfunky 29

Sunday 6 May 2018 18:13

How is this a twist?

Mungolikecandy 19

Sunday 6 May 2018 15:55

Darn wrong FML. FML.

julfunky 29

Sunday 6 May 2018 18:14

Ah, nevermind. I see.

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The Top

Today, I found out that being rhythmically challenged really really sucks. I was trying to dance around sexily for my girlfriend, and I was doing that one move where you thrust your pelvis forward, and swing you hand from side to side. I hit myself in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 774

You deserved it 26 712

Today, I’ve been growing dreads for two years after I lost my hair to chemo. After visiting my boyfriend’s family, we all contracted lice from the kids. Even though I did the shampoo and treatment, my locks are too coiled to effectively comb out all the nits. I have to shave my head again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 418

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 582

You deserved it 38 184

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 719

You deserved it 3 360

Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 996

You deserved it 1 247

Today, I found out that while I was attending AA meetings to help understand how to help my boyfriend of 7 years when he got back from rehab, that he was not in rehab at all. He was on vacation. With his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 182