Parenting, Relatable, Awkward and Kids: Straight to jail

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 007

You deserved it 70 997

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Same thing different taste

Stranger danger!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 710

You deserved it 52 205

You people are twisted!

By pledonasm - 15/03/2015 16:11 - India - Thane

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 134

You deserved it 2 276

By lilmamma - 05/11/2010 17:29 - United States

Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 141

You deserved it 50 435

The Headmaster Ritual

By angry mama - 21/09/2019 00:01

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 844

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 07:26

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 165

You deserved it 9 116

By WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM - 18/11/2012 21:22 - United States - Endicott

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 911

You deserved it 1 929

Whack-a-Mole

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 299

By Zora - 15/07/2012 23:13 - Norway - Bergen

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 300

You deserved it 3 797

By BaWanda - 30/06/2014 23:39 - United States - San Diego

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 557

You deserved it 48 233

Bounce off

By clumsy girl - 25/09/2023 12:30 - United States - Austin

Today, I embraced my inner child and went to a trampoline park with friends. I was having a blast until I attempted a somersault and ended up bouncing right into a group of screaming toddlers. I was escorted out by a concerned parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 768

jellybeans4833 7

Friday 15 July 2011 9:06

you can't tell the difference between your own child? Sad.

allitaylor 4

Friday 15 July 2011 9:06

bet her parents loved you for that..

Comments

upsidedownfrownn 5

Saturday 17 December 2011 18:34

Ah rookie mistake.

sxyprncss1994 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 3:06

How can you not recognize your own kid??? That's rlly sad

stephanyk2 7

Tuesday 10 January 2012 11:34

Needless to say, you're an idiot.

Samberriee 9

Thursday 12 January 2012 3:50

Thanks for the giggle.

grovervac3000 15

Friday 24 February 2012 15:42

Ouch.

Steffi 26

Sunday 9 September 2012 18:03

Parents can tell their twins a part, and you can't tell your daughter from a stranger. Do you have vision problems OP?

kangarooroo13 0

Saturday 29 September 2012 3:40

Lmfao yep!!

doglover100 28

Friday 12 October 2012 1:53

Couldn't you tell the difference?

Akay4 14

Tuesday 12 February 2013 3:55

THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

ph8eyerucker 3

Tuesday 26 March 2013 22:15

Dumbass, u cant tell apart ur kid and someone else kid. I betcha that ur white too.

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The Top

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I did a really good job playing someone who was really airheaded in my school's play. I wasn't trying to act like an airhead, the director told me that I got cast for the part because the character I was playing was "just like me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 906

You deserved it 6 680

Today, I met Tim Duncan out in public. I went up to him to confirm that it was him and he confirmed it. Instead of asking for a picture or autograph, I said, "Well, it was nice meeting you!" and walked backed to my car as he drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 346

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 967

You deserved it 2 217

Today, after I was with my ex for five years before we split up because she didn’t want to marry, have children, or seemingly grow up at all, now a year later she has married some dude and is two months into their first planned pregnancy. I guess she just didn’t want to marry or have kids with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 192

Today, I got back from a holiday to find that my coworkers had prepared a “Welcome Back!” surprise. I pretended to be excited, only for them to awkwardly whisper that it was intended for another coworker, who was on her way back from maternity leave the same morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 148

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 196

You deserved it 44 205