Work: Stiff upper lip

Stiff upper lip

By StomachofTinfoil - 24/11/2014 01:59 - United States - Bar Harbor

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 328

You deserved it 3 610

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Job satisfaction

By Mark - 06/01/2010 02:06 - United States

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 130

You deserved it 4 316

Hard pass

By Mew - 04/06/2009 12:07 - United States

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 259

You deserved it 4 091

By prego - 24/08/2010 16:01 - Canada

Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 556

You deserved it 5 322

By Vomit - 17/12/2018 05:00

Today, we had a patient projectile vomiting in our ambulance. I didn't know she had puked on our cot until I found it with my bare hand at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 393

You deserved it 206

Clean up in aisle 4

By frenchy - 24/03/2009 05:47 - United States

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124 900

You deserved it 9 174

By Preggo - 10/12/2016 01:51

Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 622

You deserved it 862

Splat!

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 14:00

Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 890

You deserved it 303

Slam dunk

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 19:49 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 520

You deserved it 3 825

Such a rewarding career

By DirtyNurse - 05/12/2020 07:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 188

fuckyourlifeOP 25

Monday 24 November 2014 10:23

Hey, you chose to work at the hospital. Can't cut the cord now.

KuzzBuzz3 15

Monday 24 November 2014 10:27

what got me was "chunks" I have 2 kids and I don't even want to know what those "chunks of after birth" are.

Comments

MaiLyfe 20

Monday 24 November 2014 10:54

That's ******* disgusting, but kudos for a stomach-churning description. "Floating chunks of afterbirth" really got me grossed out. FYL indeed.

VeganDarkLight 31

Monday 24 November 2014 11:58

Thank you for remembering me not to eat while on FML...

juststephhere 23

Monday 24 November 2014 12:04

That's disgusting... But hey it could've been worse! You could've passed out! I hope you're getting paid more at the very least...

razoray9 22

Monday 24 November 2014 16:40

Not sure how that could be worse passing out isn't half as bad as puking in a bowl of after birth material and still having to clean it up.

jbombdighetty 11

Monday 24 November 2014 19:46

OP could pass out into the afterbirth tub

vixypixys 13

Monday 24 November 2014 12:19

Mucus plug?

davisjenny81 30

Monday 24 November 2014 13:57

Sounds like you blew chunks into that tub too ;-)

keiNan_fml 35

Monday 24 November 2014 14:02

keep pushing

mrd1997 19

Monday 24 November 2014 14:28

Don't they have a drain to get rid of that stuff? That would make sense. By the way, congratulations for being very descriptive, my stomach literally churned reading this. Also, look on the bright side, at least you're getting paid.