Miscellaneous, Mental health, Embarrassing and Weddings: SPEECH! SPEECH!

SPEECH! SPEECH!

By Trevone87 - 26/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was asked to give a toast at my best friend’s wedding. I confidently walked up, tapped my glass, and began with, “Marriage is like...” Then I completely blanked, for about 10 seconds, but it felt like hours. I finished with, “...good luck!” and sat down to slow, confused golf claps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 304

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Same thing different taste

Another speech bites the dust

By Worst man - 01/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I gave a speech at my friend’s wedding. I spent weeks perfecting it, making sure it was funny but heartfelt. When I finished, I dropped the mic dramatically. It bounced off the table, hit the best man in the face, and the cable knocked his drink all over the bride’s dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 712

Toasted

By Nathan - 26/11/2024 15:00 - Australia

Today, I spent an hour preparing a heartfelt speech for my friend’s wedding. I stood up, got emotional, and promptly fainted, spilling a glass of wine all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 153

Speech! Speech!

By Olivia - 03/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Monterey

Today, I had to give a speech at my sister’s wedding. I spent weeks preparing every word. When it was finally my turn, I stood up to the microphone and froze. Instead of something like, "Congratulations, I’m so happy for you both," I mixed up whatever jokes I'd prepared in my brain, and blurted out, “I’m in love with your husband.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 484

Floundering

By Gerry - 05/11/2024 09:00 - Ireland

Today, I was at a friend’s wedding, and when it came time to make a toast, I tried to stand up to make a speech. My suit jacket got caught on the chair, and I ended up falling flat on my back. The speech was drowned out by everyone laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 100

Alexa, play "Ancient History" by The Cribs

By Freddie - 28/09/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I was the best man at my longtime friend’s wedding. I got so into talking about our shared memories over the years that I accidentally called his bride by his ex-girlfriend’s name at the end of my toast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 574

Don't tell Hbomberguy!

By Bad speech - 06/09/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was asked to give a toast at my cousin’s wedding. Nervous, I copied a speech template I found online. Halfway through, the groom’s father interrupted me to say, “I read that exact speech on Pinterest.” I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 558

Easy on the Chardonnay

By Anonymous - 11/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I gave a speech at my best friend’s wedding. I wanted to say, “You both look beautiful together.” Instead, nerves took over, and I blurted out, “You both look beautiful naked.” In front of 100 people. And a priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 384

Deluxe Memory Man

By Despair - 02/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend’s family dinner when her father suddenly raised a glass and said, “Let’s all raise a toast to the new couple!” I looked at my girlfriend, confused, only to realize he meant her brother and his now fiancé, who had just announced their engagement an hour earlier. I quickly but awkwardly raised my glass to avoid admitting my memory is dogshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 399

Social situations make me nervous

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 12:00

Today, someone handed me a drink at a wedding, so I awkwardly took a sip and commented on the taste. It turns out they were just trying to “Cheers!” me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 257

Rough patch

By Jeff - 04/05/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I was giving a speech at my best friend’s wedding. Mid-speech, I felt something was off. I looked down and realized I had a huge stain on my trousers. Not just a small stain, but a whole wet patch from crotch to knee. I had to finish the speech with one hand covering it. I later sniffed it, it was only champagne, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 148

Yudith 25

Saturday 26 July 2025 23:23

Short speeches are often the most appreciated.

poopface82 23

Saturday 26 July 2025 16:51

If Seong Gi-hun gave a wedding toast.

Comments

poopface82 23

Saturday 26 July 2025 16:51

If Seong Gi-hun gave a wedding toast.

Yudith 25

Saturday 26 July 2025 23:23

Short speeches are often the most appreciated.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Sunday 27 July 2025 1:05

Well there's your problem! A post-wedding speech isn't supposed to be about marriage. You compliment the bride and heavily hint at the groom being gay. Bonus points if you fake a DNA test that shows they're siblings. Remember, timing is key in comedy. And watch making.