Risky business

By Bruisebutt - 01/12/2025 20:00

Today, after my husband whipped my ass with a belt the night before (consensual S&M sex, not abuse), I had to go to work and sit on a hard metal chair for eight hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 228

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Dat ass

By brandonborgie - 10/08/2021 04:01 - Australia

Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 133

By management - 21/02/2014 02:31 - United States

Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 160

You deserved it 7 389

By anthony512 - 24/05/2013 16:08 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 047

You deserved it 12 773

Time for an intervention

By Sierra Madre - 20/10/2019 04:00

Today, I got yelled at all day at work, only to come home and get yelled at by my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 196

Safe word

By But i like it rough - 04/03/2023 04:00

Today, I was arguing with my husband and he screamed at me to the point of tears. He asked, “Why are you crying? Last night we had rough sex where I spanked you, threw you around in bed, called you names, and you enjoyed that shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 409

Explain this

By Jenny - 16/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 98

By helpme - 04/12/2013 04:05 - United States - Brockton

Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending three hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 585

You deserved it 5 737

By purrykitty - 23/04/2011 20:18 - United States

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 883

You deserved it 40 818

By Hailey - 26/06/2018 06:00

Today, I had to awkwardly explain in a conference with HR, management, and my coworkers that the occasional bruises, cuts, welts, and choke marks are from consensual BDSM sex and NOT domestic violence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 646

You deserved it 3 167

By Liz - 26/03/2016 19:26 - United States - Torrance

Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 363

You deserved it 3 632

sirrubberduckie 35

Tuesday 2 December 2025 5:44

For some people, that's half the fun. If that's not you, you can have him calibrate it so it doesn't hurt afterward.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Saturday 6 December 2025 3:57

Hindsight is 20/20.

Comments

sirrubberduckie 35

Tuesday 2 December 2025 5:44

For some people, that's half the fun. If that's not you, you can have him calibrate it so it doesn't hurt afterward.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Saturday 6 December 2025 3:57

Hindsight is 20/20.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was on a first date and tried to crack a joke by saying, “Don’t worry, I’m not a serial killer.” My date replied, completely serious, “That’s exactly what a serial killer would say.” The rest of the date was eaten in awkward silence and vague small talk. I'm not going back into the dating pool ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 181

Today, I was moving into my new house. While trying to turn on the light in the bedroom, I realized I couldn't reach the string on the fan. I got a chair, climbed up, reached over, and fell badly. While writhing in agony on the floor, I looked over to see a light switch on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 320

You deserved it 33 991

Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend, who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 157

You deserved it 2 355

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (who is very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 004

You deserved it 8 646

Today, I'm 36 and accidentally got pregnant with my FWB, a 28 year-old bartender. I told him and he broke down and admitted he’s actually only 19, an unemployed college dropout who lives with his parents. I didn’t believe it until I saw his driver's license, date of birth 2004. So much for child support… FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 1 034

Today, I got offered a free $80 salon haircut by a girl I've liked for awhile. Thinking this was my chance to get close to her, I accepted, only to find out it was for a class her boyfriend was teaching. He was the one cutting my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 497

You deserved it 2 228