Intimacy: Read the room

Read the room

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 09:11 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, my boyfriend suddenly stopped in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 603

You deserved it 3 707

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Same thing different taste

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 520

You deserved it 5 248

Orders

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 270

You deserved it 9 167

What ARE you doing?

By Anonymous - 27/09/2014 03:30 - New Zealand

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 681

You deserved it 12 110

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 464

You deserved it 1 428

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 885

You deserved it 6 276

Thunderstruck

By myasshurts - 14/10/2011 23:03 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 765

You deserved it 6 673

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 02:48 - United States - Gainesboro

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 256

You deserved it 4 943

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 547

You deserved it 5 029

By firsttimer69 - 20/03/2009 06:11 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 776

You deserved it 15 201

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 20:12 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 692

You deserved it 8 176

Shipley18 17

Sunday 17 May 2015 6:14

I want to know why Steve Irwin is on his mind during sex

ChocolateScyther 19

Sunday 17 May 2015 6:09

pull a sting ray on him if he tries it again.

Comments

cheesebond 29

Sunday 17 May 2015 7:57

Ask if he has a fetish because if he doesn't then he probably wouldn't get soft so easily

tchopper1969 16

Sunday 17 May 2015 8:48

that's actually pretty damn funny

Karenezzy 20

Sunday 17 May 2015 8:55

Omg that's actually has happened to me...

thefmlman2011 36

Sunday 17 May 2015 9:29

Gabriel Iglesias ftw!

LennyComa 39

Sunday 17 May 2015 10:33

That is pretty funny but albeit immature. Just blue ball him for a few days and say no more about it

thefmlman2011 36

Sunday 17 May 2015 10:46

i think Blueballing is abit extreme.

Aimeejasmine 15

Sunday 17 May 2015 22:31

He did it to OP tho

geeandy 3

Sunday 17 May 2015 12:40

I like your boyfriend, he sounds like a legend

saffy66 34

Sunday 17 May 2015 12:46

I'm sorry OP, that would have ruined your day - but I couldn't help laughing at your story. Thanks for making my day. Steve Irwin was an Australian icon, but I wouldn't want him in bed with me either!

Smelly_Ellie 16

Sunday 17 May 2015 13:50

why is everyone saying you should leave him and that he isn't mature enough for a relationship? Some times you need to have a bit of a laugh in a relationship. The rest of you lot sound like boring farts! Just gives you a reason to have sex again OP so he can make it up to you!