My last brain cell By Lewis - 25/01/2019 19:00 - France - Paris It has been a tough week I agree, your life sucks 287 You deserved it 78 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML I agree, your life sucks 97 008 You deserved it 252 159
Today, while I was getting a blowjob from my girlfriend in the shower, my mom stood outside the door the whole time, asking me about my day. My girlfriend never stopped going, and my mom, who was unaware that my girl was with me in the shower, is now getting me tested for speech impairment. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 689 You deserved it 711
Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health, and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 118 You deserved it 1 809
Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML I agree, your life sucks 42 150 You deserved it 7 047
Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML I agree, your life sucks 24 536 You deserved it 9 564
Today, a driver stole the parking space I was about to pull into. I politely asked him to move. He had a go at me, so I kick his car twice, in front of a few witnesses. The car is fine. I ripped two ligaments in my foot and I'll have a cast for a month. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 070 You deserved it 41 316
Today, my girlfriend's obsession with her bird reached a new level when she wrote him a song specifically for after he poops. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 561 You deserved it 205
Today, after weeks of psyching myself up, I finally asked my crush to go out for coffee. She smiled and said yes. Feeling on top of the world, I turned to leave, walked straight into an opening glass door, and gave myself a nosebleed before the date had even happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 367 You deserved it 107
The accuracy of this post is too high!
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