Intimacy: Lost

Lost

By Alicia - 21/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 433

You deserved it 6 369

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Same thing different taste

Bad sex ed

By Sex ed instructor, fuck me - 18/04/2022 06:00

Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 174

You deserved it 837

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 087

You deserved it 59 389

Running gag

By needsomelove - 20/10/2019 06:00 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 396

You deserved it 341

Noobs

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 371

You deserved it 38 149

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 086

You deserved it 6 101

By ReallyBro - 21/03/2012 07:27 - United States - Keller

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 565

You deserved it 11 394

Absolute beginners

By dancerr2210 - 09/06/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 303

You deserved it 6 976

Bad start

By fuck but no fuck - 02/08/2013 19:44 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 166

You deserved it 28 486

Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 096

You deserved it 5 549

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 453

You deserved it 6 045

epoh_fml 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 12:10

aw it sucks but you're doing him a great deed. My brother is a 31 year old virgin (I am 85% sure of this). SOMEONE has to help those poor guys out!

jf7609 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 12:21

which hole? this guy hasn't seen any ****?

Comments

smalltownsmile 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 23:14

And there's the reason why he's a virgin...he had to ask which "hole".

totallyfml911 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 5:42

I'm so sorry lol

dazzlingstar1987 0

Friday 5 February 2010 6:16

please teach him how to put on a condom before he breaks it... it shouldn't be snapping him in the balls because ur supposed to roll it down lol

swkisses5 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 12:16

ROTFLMFAOMG!!!!!! damn, u should've helped him lol he's new to the game

billzimm15 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 7:45

ha ha I'm 15 and I can find the right hole

EmWasHere 1

Sunday 14 February 2010 16:28

i think its not bad to be a virgin. I'm also practicing abstinence and theres nothing wrong with that. Being a virgin doesnt mean you're a loser, it means you're willing to wait and save yourself :)

wamu2323 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 3:09

O_o. i personally think its cute..

lxclark 17

Monday 22 February 2010 3:35

Sucks for him and you, work with him on it x] Although he is a virgin, it is still quite bad that he doesn't know 'which hole'.

bella_cuoco 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 9:21

haha wow that's endearing yet embarrassing and surprising. it kind of reminds me of a couple of weeks ago when my brother was going to get his permit, and i decided to let him move my car from being parked in the street in the front of my house into the driveway. he gets behind the wheel, turns on the car, puts it in drive, and then says: "i can't find the gas pedal, which one is it?" switching back and forth between pedals causing the car to jerk. i finally got him to put it in park, and moved my car myself. oh! did i mention the car is an automatic? there's only two pedals the brake and the gas, and he knew where the brake was. Needless to say he will never drive my car again. sorry totally went off topic. hope everything worked out all right; but maybe its a good thing, because you can teach him how to please you, plus you don't need to worry about previously acquired bad habits.

xxbakmxx 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 2:37

well he got confused. there is like 7 holes he could put his hoo hoo dilly in, ear, nostrils, mouth, belly button, the actual ****** itself, the anus, and the pee hole. whatever that's called on women.