Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 452 You deserved it 3 839 Share Tweet Share
Today, we announced our engagement. His mother immediately accused me of being a manipulative, gold digging whore. She's been fine with me for the last 5 years of dating, plus I used all my savings to support my boyfriend when he wanted to go back to college, but as soon as the ring appeared, I'm a gold digger. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 157 You deserved it 80
Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML I agree, your life sucks 16 793 You deserved it 54 257
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 177 You deserved it 667
Today, despite the fact that we love each other and are perfect together, my boyfriend still refuses to leave his wife. Apparently it will "mess his kids up." FML I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 2 886
Today, it dawned on me that I've been married for 6 months, but because of the Army I've spent only around 12 days total with my wife. FML I agree, your life sucks 79 636 You deserved it 13 431
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML I agree, your life sucks 27 225 You deserved it 2 630
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?