Sex, Farts Intimacy It's getting hot in here - FML

It's getting hot in here

cold-n-stinky - 12/01/2010 06:30 - United States

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said, "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

32 216

9 547

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Love is…

gassygirlfriend - - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

33 395

5 290

The language of love

disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

30 976

6 547

Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

7 478

817

yoked - 18/12/2009 03:48 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

33 208

4 645

Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

28 753

36 387

hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

1 628

402

SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

17 118

41 533

Love is…

Anonymous - 29/07/2012 04:25 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

27 339

3 890

Filth

roughsexgonewrong - 05/11/2013 18:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

48 291

11 631

steve-o - 14/02/2019 15:46 - United States

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

35 930

4 199

scheme 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:16

owned

Craig92EIRE 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:32

at least you're warm:)

chrisisawesome13 0

Monday 30 April 2012 20:57

True love

CptZoe 10

Saturday 4 August 2012 1:11

Routine gets boring. Lesson learned.

hannaherhoads 0

Thursday 23 August 2012 5:53

That's funny :)

damoki 8

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:30

Bahahaha!! I love the name! That sucks man but at least she has a sense of humor!

dontevenask0416 3

Tuesday 30 October 2012 14:30

Hahahahaha I love your wife!!!!

cmb8280 24

Sunday 3 March 2013 18:55

LMFAO Your wife is funny!!

kayseejay21 1

Friday 8 November 2013 3:23

Divorce is the only answer

goliatron 9

Sunday 1 December 2013 19:11

Honeymoon phase is over!

Rosbaugh 7

Tuesday 8 April 2014 21:09

that's funny

momo3p 22

Thursday 17 December 2015 4:33

That's pretty ******* funny

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML

13 624

31 380

Today, my dad reminded me that he expects me to try to get into a prestigious (read: top 5, braggable) university for undergrad. I just want to be normal and go to an above average school where I can thrive, instead of killing my mental health now and then mutilating its dead body after I go to college. FML

1 060

152

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

50 739

9 937

Today, my wife asked when I was going back to the gym because I am developing a belly, which she finds disgusting. I've just had surgery on my thigh, which was her fault for asking, “What’s this thing do?” while grabbing the handle to the jack holding up my car, dropping the car on my leg. FML

915

105

Today, I decided I would tell my mom I'm not going to marry my fiancé because it just didn't feel right, only to walk into my own surprise engagement party. FML

62 762

9 542

Today, my neighbour's boiler broke and flooded his home. To solve the problem, the water company shut off the neighbourhood's water supply while they fixed his boiler. I am now unable to shower, and I smell like a zoo animal. FML

28 550

4 167