Sex, Farts Intimacy It's getting hot in here - FML

It's getting hot in here

cold-n-stinky - 12/01/2010 06:30 - United States

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said, "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

32 216

9 547

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Love is…

gassygirlfriend - - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

33 395

5 290

The language of love

disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

30 976

6 547

Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

7 478

817

yoked - 18/12/2009 03:48 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

33 208

4 645

Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

28 753

36 387

hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

1 628

402

SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

17 118

41 533

Love is…

Anonymous - 29/07/2012 04:25 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

27 339

3 890

Filth

roughsexgonewrong - 05/11/2013 18:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

48 291

11 631

steve-o - 14/02/2019 15:46 - United States

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

35 930

4 199

scheme 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:16

owned

Craig92EIRE 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:32

at least you're warm:)

chrisisawesome13 0

Monday 30 April 2012 20:57

True love

CptZoe 10

Saturday 4 August 2012 1:11

Routine gets boring. Lesson learned.

hannaherhoads 0

Thursday 23 August 2012 5:53

That's funny :)

damoki 8

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:30

Bahahaha!! I love the name! That sucks man but at least she has a sense of humor!

dontevenask0416 3

Tuesday 30 October 2012 14:30

Hahahahaha I love your wife!!!!

cmb8280 24

Sunday 3 March 2013 18:55

LMFAO Your wife is funny!!

kayseejay21 1

Friday 8 November 2013 3:23

Divorce is the only answer

goliatron 9

Sunday 1 December 2013 19:11

Honeymoon phase is over!

Rosbaugh 7

Tuesday 8 April 2014 21:09

that's funny

momo3p 22

Thursday 17 December 2015 4:33

That's pretty ******* funny

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I found my girlfriend's list of people she's slept with on her Google docs. There was 11 names after mine. FML

1 953

227

Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML

29 565

3 446

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

38 754

3 436

Today, I was thrown out of a pub and when the owner was sure no one else could hear him, he whispered in my ear how dare I, "a filthy n****r", set foot in his pub, and if it was up to him "they'd bring back lynchings for my sort." The police didn't do anything, because there was no evidence he'd said it. FML

1 402

280

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper at me for the first time ever after 2 years of dating, and actually raised his voice. It turned me on, and I don’t just mean on, I mean OOONNNNNN. I was so wet it ran down my thighs and made an obvious damp spot in my jeans. FML

548

1 148

Today, I realized that for 31 years I have been defending our children to their father. Our oldest is 31. FML

498

228