ACAB, Cops Intimacy Insult to adultery - FML

Insult to adultery

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

singlesoon - 25/08/2009 04:26 - Canada

Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML

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It's sus to us

Anonymous - - United States - New Orleans

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

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WHO ARE YOU?

Targeted - - United States - Kirkland

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

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Sigma mindset

Username - - United States

Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML

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allocomrade - 29/07/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML

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Suspect

Anonymous - 01/08/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML

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InTheDoghouse23 - 24/08/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML

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Alex - 05/02/2016 22:55 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

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cuppincake - 19/10/2023 16:04 - Australia

Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

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Hungover

RedheadA - - United States

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML

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Sekkaichi 12

Tuesday 18 June 2013 0:10

I'm guessing he wants you out of the picture.

dramaelf 37

Tuesday 18 June 2013 0:11

Wow. No donuts for him.

buckdharma 37

Tuesday 18 June 2013 6:03

Remember when he said "Hands against the wall, feet back and spread um." It worked on her too.

krikoleets 4

Tuesday 18 June 2013 6:09

Mhmm you would think sleeping with your wife would get you out of being arrested...

dodzin 9

Tuesday 18 June 2013 7:58

Report him to the special investigation unit. Let them grill him well. Hire an attorney, divorce the bitch and sue the police department. You will be free of your wife, revenged and have some money.

RedGai 7

Tuesday 18 June 2013 8:08

Walking Dead, alternative universe

Soninuva 41

Tuesday 18 June 2013 8:16

Wow. Looks like you're not the only one that got ****** by the police!

xblaine 17

Tuesday 18 June 2013 8:26

How'd ya find out? Was your wife hand cuffed to the bed. I'm sorry OP

MrZsDad 19

Tuesday 18 June 2013 8:26

It could be worse, the last guy he did this to isn't trying to sleep with you while in prison now is he?

Abominations 7

Tuesday 18 June 2013 10:14

Da po-po got yo wife. Pudding time.

dizzaymizlizzay 11

Tuesday 18 June 2013 10:14

Well, that's a ****** up turn of events. I'd love to know how OP found out

MTCoralReefer 10

Tuesday 18 June 2013 10:46

Murda was the case that they have me...

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, a co-worker invited me to go out for lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of my car. FML

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Today, while working my overnight shift, I went into the isolation room to find some items for a former client. The door fell shut and the magnetic lock went to work. Both unit telephones and my cell phone were lying on the desk, and I waited four hours for my supervisor to rescue me. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

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Today, my great grandfather got arrested. Why? He is still shell shocked from World War II, so when we went to a hibachi grill, he didn't want any of those, "Damn Japs" to touch his food, and our chef didn't take too kindly to his verbal assault. FML

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Today, I helped my hoarder grandfather clean out his garage. Not only did I step on a nail, I also slipped in a puddle of used oil that's been sitting out for two years, and broke my nose. He didn't pay me since I wasn't able to finish the job. FML

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Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML

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