Weird, Awkward, First Dates and Intimacy: Ice-breaker

Ice-breaker

By bye loser - 20/10/2014 09:28 - Canada - Abbotsford

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 764

You deserved it 3 974

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Same thing different taste

Found it

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 20:01

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 845

You deserved it 448

Recognize this?

By Anonymous - 06/10/2014 02:42 - United States - Rock Island

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 464

You deserved it 19 804

Weird assumption

By writer4life - 17/01/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 088

You deserved it 6 324

Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 866

You deserved it 4 436

QC issue

By Anonymous - 02/10/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my date was about to go down on me when he burst out laughing. I'd bought some new sexy panties, which apparently had a sticker on them that came off and got stuck to me. It seems my vagina had been examined by employee No.32 for quality control purposes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 478

WTF dude?

By Scarred for life - 04/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 891

You deserved it 1 356

By Anonymous - 20/08/2014 22:14 - Sweden - ?kersberga

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 990

You deserved it 8 260

By MIB thingy please... - 05/02/2015 01:21 - United States - Oregon City

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 020

You deserved it 5 578

By haggisbowl - 14/01/2012 06:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 136

You deserved it 9 474

Picture game

By Anonymous - 01/12/2019 20:00

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 2 221

foxwasalamb 24

Monday 20 October 2014 22:12

what the ****..? maybe its a clever way of saying he has a large penis

HappyItalian 38

Monday 20 October 2014 22:16

"Probably not you."

Comments

Witchylady 17

Tuesday 21 October 2014 0:53

And what was your reply?

elizacandle 29

Tuesday 21 October 2014 1:09

should've said , well it's definitely not your penis.

allplayedout 20

Tuesday 21 October 2014 1:26

"What's the biggest thing you've ever stuck up your ass? Was it bigger or smaller than my foot?"

lincolnstars 7

Tuesday 21 October 2014 1:33

????? That still leaves a burning question.

xvrhdez 5

Tuesday 21 October 2014 2:28

Allright let me break the code here, when a guy starts talking like that is usually when he thinks is not worth his time trying to hard for you

vikky538 28

Tuesday 21 October 2014 2:35

you can counter that by asking the same "what's biggest thing you have stuck up in your ass"...he is an ass..

steftriv 18

Tuesday 21 October 2014 4:08

At least you a dodged that bullet!

TPrice21 2

Tuesday 21 October 2014 4:38

The first thing I thought when I read this was "wow, that guy got a date" I haven't gotten that far yet.

ostfaiz 18

Tuesday 21 October 2014 4:45

ridiculous!..run baby

demonfacee 14

Tuesday 21 October 2014 4:46

Wow. Looks like he just wants sex.

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The Top

Today, I came home sick. After a while I received a text message. I thought it was a sweet 'how are you baby?' from my boyfriend. It wasn't. He sent: 'Hey, I'm going to work now. Please do not disturb. Thank you!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 082

You deserved it 5 999

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 560

You deserved it 16 771

Today, while discussing my vegetable garden, my father's new girlfriend announced that she loves vegetables in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 349

You deserved it 423

Today, my dad got upset when one of his employees showed a romantic interest in my mom. Both parents were totally fine, though, with that same employee announcing his engagement to my 15-year-old sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 702

You deserved it 126

Today, my two year-old has learned new things from his best friend. His best friend is our dog. He's learned to eat dog food, lick people, and now he's started taking off his diaper to lift his leg and pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 516

You deserved it 1 570

Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 163

You deserved it 7 131

Same thing different taste

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