Poopoo peepee and Health: High tension

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 125

You deserved it 5 969

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Same thing different taste

By Strainer - 23/05/2015 04:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 568

You deserved it 6 004

Inconvenienced

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Dover

Today, I got a nosebleed. For 7 hours. I ended up in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 88

By cauteriseme - 01/01/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 469

You deserved it 4 161

Rough patch

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 476

You deserved it 2 893

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 933

You deserved it 7 351

Deviated septum blues

By Trent - 19/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 69

10 out 10 for execution

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 613

By BrownDump - 14/05/2011 10:43 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 344

You deserved it 14 200

Freak out

By LaurenB - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Epping

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 851

You deserved it 5 439

Leaking from everywhere

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 89

_parth 20

Tuesday 28 October 2014 15:35

Damn. Did you activate all your superpowers to do that? Fyl op.

tony1891 22

Tuesday 28 October 2014 15:36

you may wanna start eating more fiber then.

Comments

AcrusaderA 10

Thursday 30 October 2014 6:33

Dude, eat some celery or something

QXR2 14

Thursday 30 October 2014 8:53

You are not alone. It has happened to me as well on more than one occasion.

mishwarner 14

Thursday 30 October 2014 9:22

Eat better. Fibre works a treat

Aussie75 10

Saturday 1 November 2014 11:10

Upside: you didn't prolapse your rectum? See always a silver lining.

Ipsum629 13

Monday 17 November 2014 6:47

*butt Explodes*

Hangryko 31

Friday 25 August 2023 2:10

Eat a g.d. vegetable once in a while.

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The Top

Today, while driving the 45 minutes to work, I let out some gas, only to arrive at work and realize I'd sharted. I couldn’t tell because my seat heater was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 502

Today, I signed the lease for a flat that a mate and I decided to move into. About five minutes after leaving the renting agency, I received a text from my mate saying he couldn't move in with me after all. I am now the happy tenant of a large inner city flat that I can't afford. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 259

You deserved it 499

Today, I was pouring milk into my coffee and, as it plooped into my mug, I noticed the expiration date on the jug passed 2 weeks ago. Nobody here drinks milk very often and I ran out of creamer so I've been unknowingly drinking my coffee with curdled milk for the past 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 336

You deserved it 2 342

Today, I saw Thor and I wanted to see how realistic it was to be swinging a hammer around. Wrong idea. I ended up unconscious on the ground for ten whole minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 961

You deserved it 41 797

Today, I was working at Subway when a middle-aged lady demanded that I give her a sandwich for free. When I refused, she took out a spray bottle of water and sprayed me in the face, like a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 652

You deserved it 277

Today, I had an interview scheduled for 10:05. When I got there, someone was talking to them, so I sat down to wait. Little did I know this wait would be 45 minutes. I got told to go home and that I'd be rescheduled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 839

You deserved it 3 709