Poopoo peepee and Health: High tension

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 125

You deserved it 5 969

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Same thing different taste

By Strainer - 23/05/2015 04:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 568

You deserved it 6 004

Inconvenienced

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Dover

Today, I got a nosebleed. For 7 hours. I ended up in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 88

By cauteriseme - 01/01/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 469

You deserved it 4 161

Rough patch

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 476

You deserved it 2 894

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 933

You deserved it 7 351

Deviated septum blues

By Trent - 19/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 69

10 out 10 for execution

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 613

By BrownDump - 14/05/2011 10:43 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 344

You deserved it 14 200

Freak out

By LaurenB - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Epping

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 851

You deserved it 5 439

Leaking from everywhere

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 89

_parth 20

Tuesday 28 October 2014 15:35

Damn. Did you activate all your superpowers to do that? Fyl op.

tony1891 22

Tuesday 28 October 2014 15:36

you may wanna start eating more fiber then.

Comments

vikky538 28

Tuesday 28 October 2014 23:05

use stool relievers they are better than getting a nose bleed...or try spicy food...either one will work for sure..

Pikachu12_fml 21

Tuesday 28 October 2014 23:17

This made me laugh more than it should have..

itsme82 18

Tuesday 28 October 2014 23:19

I laughed so hard at this!! ??

Angelkisses130 26

Wednesday 29 October 2014 0:33

That sounds like one intense s***

Vegetarian27 24

Wednesday 29 October 2014 11:52

That's terrifying.

applecrusher 18

Wednesday 29 October 2014 17:41

Good thing you didn't shit yourself! Oh wait...

ebrainer1 9

Wednesday 29 October 2014 21:23

Push it real good!

Metallic_Blue 10

Wednesday 29 October 2014 22:23

I've sadly done that as well

aliciavanham 13

Thursday 30 October 2014 0:43

Wow, how did you manage to pull that off? So wrong in many ways.

BagelTheOtaku 25

Thursday 30 October 2014 1:57

at least it wasn't a hemaroid

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 41 813

You deserved it 3 010

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I agree, your life sucks 5 900

You deserved it 769

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I agree, your life sucks 2 149

You deserved it 106

Today, some of my buddies were playing truth or dare. As I got to the group, one guy was dared to ding dong ditch. He did so, and the owner of the house let his big ol' dog out to chase us. It only ran after me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 569

Today, after helping my grandma to clear out and renovate her house, she tells me that the only reason she doesn’t hate me is because God will hate her if she does. All because I threw out a pack of biscuits with an expiry date of Nov 2012. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 87

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 270

You deserved it 8 007