Work: Hazing ritual

Hazing ritual

By newguy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my third day at work and the hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 566

You deserved it 4 878

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Same thing different taste

By TheVagabond_SRG - 02/08/2016 06:46 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 554

You deserved it 1 077

First day

By notsogoodtrainee - 09/07/2015 17:02 - United States - Fargo

Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 657

You deserved it 4 821

By PukinFireman - 17/10/2009 08:20 - United States

Today, it was my first day at the fire station. Naturally, we all went out and got lunch together. I normally don't handle spicy food well, but sucked it up. About ten minutes after we finished, I got up to do rookie duties when someone slapped me in the back. I forcefully vomited all over my new Lieutenant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 170

You deserved it 5 114

By SakuraBreeze - 26/09/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 719

You deserved it 2 638

Office Space

By Mishlette - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting, and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 256

You deserved it 2 817

I'm lovin' it

By Anonymous - 23/08/2020 17:09

Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 562

You deserved it 136

Noob

By JustAmirage - 14/02/2019 20:00

Today, it was my first day at work. They had me a large tray with lots of food on it, even after I told them I wasn’t comfortable carrying it. I hit the door on the way out of the kitchen, spilling everything on the tray, breaking two soup bowls and three salad plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 171

You deserved it 383

Time to call it quits

By Cooky - 14/03/2010 09:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 466

You deserved it 6 738

By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 21:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 448

You deserved it 6 549

Very frustrating

By Anonymous - 18/01/2020 05:00

Today my Assistant Manager decided to pull a prank on me by walking up behind me and screaming my name. I screamed in terror and then swung around and punched him, full force, dead center in the chest, right in front of my supervisor, manager, and several other employees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 451

You deserved it 277

happyvalleygirl 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 1:28

fast food industry ftw

Kamazar 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 1:28

Run before he brings out the horseradish!

Comments

omfgapolarbear 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 6:15

Meh, happened at few times where I worked, someone hit me in the back of the head with a ******* Fennel Bulb, so I returned it to them with my hunting knife (carry it everywhere but school), sticking out of it. Stuck it straight into their cutting board. They got the message. There's still some hazing and ******* around and shit, gay chicken, all sorts of shit. But aslong as its mutual, thats the best kind of working environment really, because it's more friendly in the long run. Just make sure they realize that you're not gonna just TAKE shit, dish it out too.

MugenFML 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 18:49

8------> ()-:

MidnightOne 3

Thursday 3 September 2009 1:48

I got enough of having people hit me when I was a kid. Were I working there, the people punching me would be met with overwhelming violence - *not* just a punch in the arm, but put in the hospital. ****. THAT. SHIT.

butonemike 0

Friday 4 September 2009 21:46

Your boss threw Ketchup at you? And you're complaining? Finally a U.S. workplace that's not full of PC *******. Awesome.

wccorganist 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 5:19

You said that the hazing "finally" began, leading me to believe that you were expecting it. Grow up and have fun.

ilovejustin4ever 0

Friday 25 December 2009 16:36

if they were being serious i would punch them in the fukkin face and throw shit at the manager too..... or you could just joke round with everyone and they'll accept you and wont give you shit.

beLegit 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 5:38

don't think of it as an FML...plot your revenge. they threw ketchup, you throw fries. keep throwing the opposite of what they throw at you/ whatever they do. you could turn this into a MLIA story by saying "it's on" or something cheerful. at least that's what I would do.