Animals: Extra protein

Extra protein

By ReluctantAntEater - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 307

You deserved it 3 622

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Same thing different taste

By somechick - 09/12/2009 05:25 - Canada

Today, I was eating a bag of almonds I got from the bulk food store, picking off what I thought was stringy remnants of their shells. When I finally got down to the bottom of the bag, I found a silk worm circling around the last almond left of a bag of about 200. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 385

You deserved it 6 109

By Ryuuchild666 - 01/10/2018 13:30

Today, I bought a 3 lb bag of pears. The first two bites were delicious! The third bite revealed a worm and its thousands of eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 534

You deserved it 227

By Anonymous - 08/12/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 573

You deserved it 2 631

Gotta have it

By kp. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 997

You deserved it 59 212

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 07:52 - United States - Bend

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 546

You deserved it 6 857

By ticked - 06/10/2009 13:01 - Pakistan

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 564

You deserved it 48 005

By Anonymous - 10/02/2016 18:36 - United States - Milford

Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 338

You deserved it 2 018

By Rachel - 02/02/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 278

You deserved it 3 296

By YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 568

You deserved it 4 994

Thanks for the heads up

By thanksbro - 20/09/2010 19:26 - United States

Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 953

You deserved it 3 044

detectivedipsiht 12

Friday 22 August 2014 12:16

so if it tasted perfect it couldn't have been all bad right

Warmonger_Smurf 29

Friday 22 August 2014 12:19

Good thing you thoroughly identified it before eating it.

Comments

Zarcissa 34

Friday 22 August 2014 12:38

I think I won't be able to eat my pistachios without checking for ants from now on. :( My favorites...

frankhobz 14

Friday 22 August 2014 12:39

You described it as if you thoroughly enjoyed the ant.

worldclassrager 39

Friday 22 August 2014 12:39

With your description of it how did you know there was an ant in there?

Godsofdracos 15

Friday 22 August 2014 12:39

Could always be worse op, what if it was a perfectly salty live fire ant ;-;

TheCrispyCat 20

Friday 22 August 2014 12:53

That's offensive

tony1891 22

Friday 22 August 2014 13:24

come on op. it AIN'T all that bad is it?

fsomelife 26

Friday 22 August 2014 13:48

No...no, it really is now.

Rcmpbell 6

Friday 22 August 2014 23:33

Ant is not the same as "Ain't"

protoskore 27

Friday 22 August 2014 13:25

insects are said to be the food of the future. you're just getting a head-start.

DeathcoreDoge 10

Friday 22 August 2014 13:45

tasty

vikky538 28

Friday 22 August 2014 13:50

protein packed food we call it..

qwerty585 4

Friday 22 August 2014 14:01

Well at least it's good protein?

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Today, my mom got so desperate to find me a woman, she went to see a medium. I don't have the guts to tell her I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 709

You deserved it 3 066

Today, a woman I didn’t know swung at me in Walmart. After scuffling, security pulled us apart as we waited for the cops. Why? Apparently I ruined her brother’s life and sent him on a “tragic” spiral after I refused to go to a high school dance with him. I have no idea who she’s talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 113

Today, I woke up early to go to church with my parents. When I got in the car, I was struck with the worst diarrhea I've ever had in my life. My parents told me I'd be cleaning the car out when we got there, because if we turned around, we'd be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 546

You deserved it 3 223

Today, my 7-year-old daughter has been hopelessly stuck on an easy puzzle in her favorite video game for a week now. Today, she excitedly told me that she'd figured it out. The solution to the puzzle? No, she’s figured out how to look up a walkthrough on the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 267

Today, I was doing laundry at college. There was a pile of clothes sitting on top of a dryer, but the dryer was empty so I used it. I came back to a note saying, "Don't touch my laundry, asshole" and a dryer filled with urine soaked laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 688

You deserved it 4 847

Today, after years of pretty much no sex from my long term partner, I admitted I was having dreams about sex with other people, hoping to get a reaction from him. However, he didn't react at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 780

You deserved it 487

Extra protein

Same thing different taste

Gotta have it

Thanks for the heads up

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