Health and Miscellaneous: Executive confusing

Executive confusing

By DoseyGit - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while brushing my teeth I noticed a hair in the sink. Running the scenario over in my mind, I was going to simultaneously spit into the sink and throw the hair on the floor. Creating a big ball of phlegm, I threw the hair back into the sink and launched a huge mouthful onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 211

You deserved it 3 194

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 892

Poor kitty

By toothpastecat - 13/05/2011 15:41 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As I bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spat a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 653

You deserved it 8 432

By woman - 17/11/2012 08:45 - United States - La Crosse

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 740

You deserved it 7 773

Multitasking

By Mirroronthewall - 30/08/2009 15:22 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 769

You deserved it 44 254

buys case of Listerine

By Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 965

You deserved it 368

By captfml - 15/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 327

You deserved it 27 733

By Preggo - 10/12/2016 01:51

Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 622

You deserved it 862

Whip it

By Anonymous - 07/02/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to take a slow-motion video of myself flipping my hair like in a shampoo commercial. Instead, I hit my head against the shower door so hard that my shelf of cosmetics collapsed and landed in my toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 546

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 319

You deserved it 23 918

By Talented73 - 25/04/2017 20:00

Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 143

You deserved it 404

steelmoonlight 23

Tuesday 24 January 2017 8:01

Why didn't you just use the water to push the hair down the drain?

fuckIife 8

Tuesday 24 January 2017 8:09

Been there... threw socks in the toilet, and almost pissed in the laundry hamper.

Comments

steelmoonlight 23

Tuesday 24 January 2017 8:01

Why didn't you just use the water to push the hair down the drain?

Demon_of_Light 27

Tuesday 24 January 2017 10:56

You can't rinse hair down the drain; it'll clog everything up.

jcash52426 5

Tuesday 24 January 2017 16:31

Not necessarily, it depends on how much hair goes down the drain and how often you clean your pipes with a snake or liquid product. But hair does go down your drain when you shave and when you shower. Sometime you just don't even know

ohkitty 21

Tuesday 24 January 2017 20:19

one singular hair isn't gonna clog the drain up, & the FML specified it was one hair

fuckIife 8

Tuesday 24 January 2017 8:09

Been there... threw socks in the toilet, and almost pissed in the laundry hamper.

ChiefKoala 30

Tuesday 24 January 2017 8:50

Ahh, how fun our bodies are when our brains are on autopilot.

cacheson 41

Tuesday 24 January 2017 16:55

Uh... is there a reason you didn't just put the hair on the trash?

species4872 19

Tuesday 24 January 2017 17:35

Just to make it a bit more scary for you, it wasn't a hair it was a spider leg and he's gonna come looking for you to get it back.

weejuh 5

Tuesday 24 January 2017 18:58

Reminds me of that time when I tossed dirty socks in the garbage and a used tampon in the hamper. Sigh...

Moonelo9 14

Tuesday 24 January 2017 23:20

wait, what???

0utland 18

Wednesday 25 January 2017 7:11

Hahaha brain fart xD I have done similiar things multiple times myself. Take the chocolate bar out of the wrapper, throw the chocolate away and shove the wrapper in my mouth, is one of many.